Summer- Expectation Vs Reality

 Expectation:

1.       I will have so much time to write. I could get a whole novel finished if I wanted to. This is now an uninterrupted opportunity to really perfect my craft.

2.       I will be able to write in a range of wonderfully sunny locations- my garden, outside cafes, opposite lakes in country parks. I can pop a dress and sunglasses on, pack a little lunch and off I go.

3.       I will have so much time to plot, plan and seek out sources of inspiration that there is no possible way I will get writer’s block.

4.       I will be ever so motivated. Every day. I might even get up early and do that 5am writers club thing I have seen on Twitter.

Reality:

1.       Before I know it, it is the final week of my holiday and I have done a grand total of zero things writing related. The time has flown by and has been made up of weddings, trips away and life admin. Before I knew it, writing time was swiftly replaced by optician appointments and going to the bank. Who knew adulting left so little time for imagination and creativity?

2.       Summer for me, is always a time of wishful thinking. I always envision endless sunny days for the full four weeks, but we all know the Great British Summertime just ain’t that! Rain, rain, more rain…drizzle… clouds, wind, perhaps the odd thunderstorm. And when we did get four or five days of successive sun, it was so precious that I prioritised socialising over writing, and when I did think about writing, I decided I was “too hot” and opted for reading a book instead- that one was totally my fault.
Also, the ‘popping a dress on’ thing is 100% not reality. By the time I have shaved, painted my toenails and done all those arduous and ultimately pointless things I feel I ‘have’ to do as a ‘female preparing to step into summertime’ the clouds are back and it has started lightly raining again.

3.       It is true, I visited some wonderfully inspirational places this summer which should have given me an endless range of creative ideas. However, instead of using them to plot something useable, I decided to live in the moment as it is so rare in the working year (and after all the lockdowns) that I get this opportunity. I wanted to visit some beautiful places in the UK and spend time with appreciating them with my husband, not scribbling down notes in my notebook. As this was the case, I will just have to bank some of the ideas inspired by these places for late use….

4.       Summertime and free time does not increase motivation. I was SO tired once I finished work that I just wanted to sleep for the first week. There was no way I was getting up for a 5am writers club. I wanted to lay in and indulge in all my lazy glory of not having anything to do. And I definitely took that too far, because 3 weeks later I am now wallowing in my laziness and wondering where all that productive time has gone!

It’s okay though- there’s always next summer!

Writing Round Two

So… I haven’t written anything on this blog for an incredibly long time…

And the truth is, I haven’t written ANYTHING for an incredibly long time. The last time I put pen to paper was in March and it is so hard to get back into a rhythm/pattern/habit after such a long break.

I had been doing relatively well before now. I had some ‘dry spells’ of writing where I had only managed to write for a couple of hours at the weekend (if that) but, overall, I was trying my best to make time for something that I know I ultimately really want to do.

Then, all of a sudden, it all went wrong and downhill from there!

I started writing in February, just before the first lockdown. Writing in the first lockdown was really easy. I mean, what else did I have to do? And because I had gotten into some really good habits and had really gotten into the flow of writing, it was possible to maintain it once I returned to work. And even though… lockdown number 3, was it?...I have lost count… was much more intense with juggling the home-learning and being in school with key worker children, I could still somehow make the time.

We properly returned to school at the end of March. We started the rigorous, stressful and massively time-consuming year 11 assessment and grading process at the end of March and things have just not let up from there. Time started to slip away, and the little I had of it at the weekends felt better spent by catching up on missed time with friends and family. Work is draining. Socialising is draining. Being an adult is just generally draining. And, sadly, it has drained any ounce of energy away from my writing.

But as the summer holidays approach, I am going to try and change my mindset. I stopped writing as a teenager and always mourned the loss of it until I picked up that pen again at 28 years old. I am not going to let that happen again!

Honourable Mention

I am a complete newbie to the short story competition game and decided to give it a try a few months ago. I had written 13 short stories in 2020 and thought it would be a nice opportunity to potentially celebrate and share what I had created. Also, with querying my novel this year, having a few competitions under my belt would be a nice addition to my cover letter.

I did a bit of research and entered a few competitions tentatively and somewhat nervously, and then radio silence as I waited (and tried not to check the website too obsessively).

I was so delighted when I saw the title of my story as a finalist on one of the websites. A website which promotes reading for teenagers (exactly the audience I would love to write for). I was one of 7 chosen out of a thousand. It is the first real (non-family/ friend) acknowledgement I have had that my writing might actually be okay, and it felt really good. And even though I didn’t end up getting 1st, 2nd or 3^rd place, seeing an ‘honourable mention’ under the winners’ names still made me happy. It felt like a first step. That maybe there is a potential with entering short story competitions. And I look forward to trying again in their Summer 2021 competition.

I have also recently had an email in my inbox about another competition I entered which will announce the winners in April- fingers crossed!

Libraries are special places...

As with all the places I can no longer go/ things I can no longer do during lockdown, I have been thinking about libraries a lot lately. I have been thinking about how special they are and how they certainly need to be embraced and saved once this pandemic is over.

Libraries and reading made up such a huge part of my childhood and even though the library in my hometown in no way looked like my vision of a library or like the library in the image, it was still an amazing place to be and a place I think fondly of when I reminisce.

In my head, libraries are places of adventure, wonder and mystery. They look like the library in Beauty and the Beast or the Page Master and have a friendly librarian (like the one from Matilda) who looks down at you, spectacles perched on her nose, from her large desk and although seems intimidating with all her shushing and library rules, she eventually becomes the guide to your developing book tastes and introduces to you to all sorts of incredible tales and genres.

One of my most favourite things as a child was that on a Saturday, after my mum had finished her weekly shop and if I had behaved myself, she would then take me up to the library in the town centre and I was allowed to pick whatever books I wanted and was even trusted with getting the maximum books out that I could- as I had proven that I could read them all in time without any late fees! I would spend what felt like hours perusing the children’s books, eagerly searching for the next book in a series or searching for anything that might catch my eye. I can still remember looking forward to this time so very much and how excited I would feel with a carrier bag full of books banging against my legs as we made our way back to the car.

I even worked in a library for a little while when I was young adult, and I used to love it when children would come up with their little reading passports to stamp with the teddy bear stamp.

Libraries are important places and mean so much to so many people, and I hope my children (if and when I have children in the future) are able to create some amazing library memories themselves.

Do you have any library memories? I would love to hear them- please comment below.

March Break

 I have two weeks off in March. Two glorious weeks with so much time for writing.

I am already part way through the final week.

So far, I have:

·         Cleaned the house.

·         Cleaned the doors and skirting boards.

·         Deep cleaned the kitchen.

·         Dyed my hair.

·         Gone on 5 long walks in the countryside (saw a deer on one of the walks! 😊)

·         Tidied the garden.

·         Watched a season of Mad Men.

·         Read A Little Life (700+ pages).

·         Listened to an audiobook.

·         Exercised (only once).

·         Played Sims 3 for a full day 😐

·         Baked cookies.

·         Watched a bunch of Youtube videos about travelling to Japan and then made a vision board about travelling to Japan.

·         Cross stitched something for my Nanna’s birthday.

And I have hardly written anything! I tried to imagine that these activities were either being done for inspiration purposes or to give me some breathings thinking space for my writing, but in truth they are total and utter procrastination- I know I am going to totally regret this once the week is up! 

How do you motivate yourself to write? Are you guilty of procrastination? What do your go-to procrastination activities tend to be? Please comment below.

Does anyone write Fanfiction anymore?

 I was thinking about Fanfiction the other day and about how I don’t really hear about it so much anymore.

I associate Fanfiction with my adolescent years, where I would find myself obsessing over a game, a series, a book and would rapidly devour all the content on it and would be seeking more and more, finding the thirst for it satisfied completely and utterly in Fanfiction- reading the work of others and, even more excitingly, getting to express my creative side in writing my own.

I remember we hadn’t long purchased (or mostly likely received second hand) our first family computer, and I would spend summer holidays reading and writing, engaging with the Fanfiction community and fanbases of whatever my latest obsession was. I remember it being friendly, constructive, encouraging and I miss that. I have tried my best to engage with the Twitter writing community, and although I enjoy observing writers’ journeys and have received a friendly word here or there, it hasn’t felt quite the same. I am not sure, but I wonder if (with becoming an adult) I have become too shy (even when behind a screen) to engage as much as I would like to. As I have said, I find myself ‘observing’ and although I want to say congratulations or question things, or ask if I can learn more about their process, I don’t always feel confident enough to ask, wondering if I seem nosy or intrusive. I never felt like that as a teenager and would happily comment, praise, offer feedback, etc, with no qualms about it at all.

I miss sharing my work, writing and engaging with an audience. Of course, I would love to be able to, but again, I feel too shy to ask anyone to critique my work for me or offer advice (apart from close friends and family). Again, perhaps (with Fanfiction) by knowing that it is an adaptation of someone else’s work and not completely my own, I relished in sharing my writing and the feedback I would receive. It has made me wonder, should I delve back into this pastime to see what it is like to have that engagement and to receive that feedback, not necessarily on my ideas, but my craft and writing style alone? This has also got me wondering- does anyone else in the writing community still write Fanfiction? And do they find this helpful when then returning to write their own stuff? Please comment below 😊

Choosing the perfect notebook

 I am in the mood to start writing something new. In order to make a start on this new idea, I need to find the perfect notebook. Is anyone else this way with stationery? I feel like the notebook needs to match the mood and vibe of my new story idea.

I have a lot of notebooks that I have collected over the years, notebooks I have been saving for potential stories but are currently utterly unwritten in.

I decided to look through them and try and see which one best suits my story idea.

This is probably one of the oldest notebooks I own. I purchased it on holiday as a child (I can’t even remember where I got it now) because it reminded me of Boooook from Hocus Pocus. This one needs something magical to be written in it. 

I bought this one for when I was travelling around Italy and I have done a lot of travelling since but still have not christened its pages. I still feel that it needs something worldly, travel-based in it. I will save it for when we are able to do that again.

 I can’t even remember where and when I got this notebook. I thought it looked like a Tardis and the diary River Song has in Doctor Who. I feel like I need to save this to document more personal/ life events. It doesn’t feel like a notebook for stories.

This leaves me with notebook number 4. My Van Gogh one. And for what I am planning to write, I think this one is perfect!

Query Avoidance

 I have started tentatively querying the story that I wrote this year.

What I mean by this is:

- I am spending hours researching and preparing my documents and cover letters for agents.

-All of these documents and cover letters are all lined up in a folder, waiting to be sent.

-I am procrastinating and putting off sending them by coming up with the odd excuse as to why now isn’t the best time to send.

-And occasionally, nervously hitting the send button on the odd few that I do summon the courage with.

I don’t know what it is, but it is so scary to query an agent! I never feel ready, I constantly doubt my work and I also feel so frustrated with myself that I have spent all this time creating something (and I want to be a writer so much), that why can’t I just take the plunge and just do it?

So, I will be honest, this blog post right now is just another form of query- avoidance. I have determined that I will send at least 3 queries I have pre-prepared in the next hour, and here I am writing this…

I have also started planning another story because that’s the bit I enjoy. The planning and the creating, and I feel so much happier in my non-judgemental creative bubble rather than scrutinizing over every word of a query letter.

Does anyone else feel like this when it gets to the time when they start querying? What do you do to motivate yourself to do it? Does anyone have any tips on how to be more confident with querying? I would love to hear them. Please comment below.

Ten Signs You Are Obsessed With Literature

 1.Your house is full of references to various books/ plays/ poems. On mugs, cushions, bookmarks, t-shirts…everything seems to have some nod towards a classic or two.

2. You get withdrawal symptoms if you haven’t read a book for a week.

3.You are simultaneously intrigued and horrified at the thought of your favourite text being turned into a movie.

4. You compare people you meet and situations to book characters/ plots. “He better not turn full Macbeth over that.” “I’m not going to do a Penelope and wait around forever.” The moment there is snow- “It looks like Narnia!”

5. Your pets are named after your favourite characters.

6. Your children are named after your favourite characters/ if you don’t have children your ‘favourite name lists’ definitely is just a list of your favourite characters.

7. When you think back to a wonderful moment in your life, you can remember exactly what book you were reading at the time.

8. When you think back to a terrible moment in your life, you can remember exactly what book you were reading at the time.

9. Whenever anyone quotes literature in a film, you turn to the person sitting next to you and name the writer, the book/play/poem and occasionally the page number/ scene. 

10. You just can’t stop looking for hidden meaning… in everything.

All in all, I am so glad that I was introduced to reading at a young age and that I have had opportunity and encouragement to pursue my love for literature throughout my life- wouldn’t change it for the world 😊

When is the best time to query an agent?

 In my excitement of finally feeling “ready”/ “ready as I will ever be” to query my dream agent, I sent my cover email and first three chapters at 4pm on a Friday night. Now, on reflection, I am not sure if this was very wise. Fridays are probably not best days to send query letters and certainly not towards the close of a day- especially if I want to get noticed. Anyone’s mind would be on the weekend ahead rather than another query which will undoubtedly end up in the slush pile.

But I am having difficulty with finding that perfect time to query. My job requires my attention from 8 am until 5pm (or later) every day during the week. I only have time for a quick 15-minute lunch, and when I am in school, I am often supervising students over my breaks and lunches. I barely have 5 minutes to use the toilet, let alone construct and send a query email. There is no good time in the week to send a query, leaving me only with afternoons and weekends which, I feel, heighten the changes of my query being missed. Now, I am not making excuses, I know there are many reasons why an agent might decide to discard and not pursue a query letter, but I can’t help but think that timing is one of them.

When do you recommend sending out query letters? What day of the week? Time of day? What do you recommend in terms of getting noticed? I would love to hear your thoughts. Please comment below.

How will I know when my manuscript is ready?

 I dedicated some time to my manuscript this weekend. I did the painstakingly arduous task of editing (apologies if you are someone who enjoys this) and spent a few hours on Sunday re-reading through the entire re-draft. I always find it weird reading my own work. Sometimes it almost feels like it is written by someone else and sometimes it really does feel like it is written by me (and a little bit cringey as a result). I like it when I come across a bit that I think works really well but I hate the bits that still feel a bit forced, as if I was including them to purely move from one moment in the novel to the other. I also feel like I am not the best at ending chapters. It never feels natural. Perhaps I should look through my favourite books and look at how their chapters end?

To give myself a break from the editing, I decided to write my synopsis. Having to decide what key moments and strip it back to its basics without losing the key essence of it all is never an easy feat. But I suppose it is a great exercise in really getting to know your book and really thinking about the meaning and message you want to convey.

I am hoping to start sending my first few chapters to agents in the next few weeks, but taking that step is always a terrifying one! I always feel like the manuscript is never quite ready no matter how long I spend on it. I can’t go on making tweaks forever. I will have to find a point where I do feel happy with it and then take that plunge.

I would love to know where you are up to in your writing process and what the experience is like for you. Any comments are welcome below.  

Small Successes

I have decided that the best way to motivate myself this January is to celebrate the small successes. On the 1^st of January, I had dreams of spending multiple hours editing and redrafting my manuscript with the view of being ready to start thinking about submitting to agents mid-January. I am willing to accept that this isn’t going to happen.

However, what I have done (and what needs to be celebrated) is that I have entered a short story competition and have found another that I would also like to enter. I also spent an afternoon last weekend editing my manuscript and, although it still has a long way to go, there is definite progress there.

So, well done me. I wonder what I will be able to achieve this weekend 😊

Writing Routines

 Let’s be honest, I haven’t done a single thing towards my writing since I last blogged. I could use the excuse of the ‘last minute’ lockdown a day into the school term and getting used to an entire different way of teaching in just four short days (and I think that would be a valid one), but if I really was going to stick to my resolution, I could have made the time.

I think the issue is routine. Obviously, I had to get used to an entirely new routine in a short period of time with irregularities (such as a parents evening from home) throwing me out of my usual way of things. I hadn’t factored in how I could squeeze writing into my week. Something I could stick to. So that is exactly what I need to do. Now I (sort of) know how my weeks are going to look, I need to plan in some writing time and stick to it. Last lockdown I had the leisure of full days to write whenever I fancied. I haven’t that luxury anymore, so I need to be much more rigid with my writing time.

I would love to find out the routines of other writers (if they stick to a routine at all). Is it better to write in the mornings or evenings? Weekday or weekend? For a length of time or short bursts? What would suit me best and be most productive for me? Let me know if you have a ‘writing routine’ and what it looks like below 😊

Time to start writing again

 I found it really hard to write over November and December. Work had gotten ridiculously busy, lockdown number 2 had just started, and the evenings had gotten incredibly dark. I just wanted to get in from work, eat and then sleep. Writing was the last thing I wanted to do, which was such a shame because it is supposed to be something I enjoy, something to relax me and take me to another place for a little while. I was annoyed at myself for feeling this way about writing, but figured that (rather than force it), maybe I should take a break. It was nearing Christmas time so when I felt I should be writing (but really couldn’t bring myself to), I would spend the time baking or crafting, or ‘getting ready for Christmas Day,’ as I put it. I love Christmas time. It is my absolute favourite time of year. I baked cookies and cupcakes. I made festive garland, place names, decorated glasses, napkins. I went overboard on the Christmas preparation. And now Christmas is over, I figured that maybe it is time to get back to writing…

I always struggle with January. It such a long, dark, cold month, and work is always really intense as the usual lead up to the GCSE exams commence (although I am entirely unsure of how that is going to look this year). One of the things that get me through is the whole ‘new year goals.’ I never set resolutions, but I always set aspirations/ goals and do all I can to try and get into the ‘motivated mindset.’ It may be all a bit forced, but it does work for me, and somewhat diminishes those January blues.

So, I am determined to get my motivation and drive “to write” back. I am going to make the time. I am going to be as excited by the prospect of writing like I felt back last February. And it starts with writing this blog post- yay!