5 Practical Books About Baby And Infancy

 Initially, I started this blog as a way of documenting my writing and the books I have read. Since having Teddy, I haven’t done much writing at all, and the books I read during maternity leave (for the most part) were when I was nap trapped and tended to be about babies. It was all very brand new and confusing to me, and I seemed to think I would find all answers in the books. I now know that most of what I have learnt was discovered by getting used to things and finding my own feet. However, I did read some really useful books the first year of Teddy’s life.

1.        The Day-By-Day Baby Book by Dr Ilona Bendefy

This book provides a bit of new info for each day of the first year. I really liked having a bitesize piece of information to read each day. It also had a number of useful tips that I was totally not aware of. For instance, really useful information about finances and what you are entitled to. It also made me aware of the vitamins Teddy was supposed to have as I hadn’t been told this by any of the midwives (for example, how he was supposed to be having vitamin d supplements and then vitamins A, C and D once he started solids). It was a lot of little extra things like that where I wouldn’t have had a clue- this book was really helpful and not overwhelming due to the way it is split up-and I definitely needed something easier to process in those early days.

2.         The Montessori Baby by Junnifa Uzodike and Simone Davies

I read this book way too late. I think Teddy was around about 7 months. I wish I had read it when I was pregnant, but I had no idea what Montessori was until I was doom scrolling on Instagram throughout the endless night feeds.

To sum it up, Montessori emphasises a child's natural desire to learn, and their ability to learn independently. 

I like a lot of the concepts it holds, such as:

- Guiding Teddy, but encouraging him to choose his own tasks and learning pace- I love the idea of watching him play and following his interests rather than ‘forcing’ certain ways of play or interests upon him. Once I see him take an active interest in something, I can then look at ways of encouraging that interest- however it is totally led by him. I feel like it has really allowed him to flourish as an individual and I love seeing his unique personality emerge as he gets older.

-Real world skills and independence- I always wish that I could be more independent. I am definitely overly reliant on people in my life and find it hard to ‘adult’ day to day- pretty embarrassing when I am in my thirties and have an almost 2 year old. Montessori encourages independence from a young age. This can mean things need to be modified so Teddy is able to achieve independence (and I haven’t gone to the extreme with this- I have only done what I feel suits us as a family), but I also offer him an element of choice (where possible) and encourage him to help out with day to day ‘adult’ activities. He loves sorting the washing, putting things in the bin and ‘wiping up.’

-Creativity- who wouldn’t want to encourage their little one to be creative and curious?

Plus, to be fair, a lot of it is just aesthetically pleasing- and it is nice to have a bit of that amongst the chaos, mess and mayhem of a survival mode with an infant. For example, our open toy shelves (although they don’t always stay like this) can be arranged in a nice way, but also means Teddy can clearly see what toys he can choose to play with, and I can rotate the toys every now and then so he doesn’t get bored. Yes, he does have a tendency to pull every single toy off the shelf, however finally, at 20 months, he does seem to be starting to understand the concept of ‘tidying away’ between each activity- which we are encouraging him to do independently (important life skill!).

Similarly, his bookshelf isn’t overwhelming, I usually pick a theme and have one book per section of the bookshelf and will rotate as and when I think we need to. Teddy loves being able to choose his book each night before bed and bring it to the chair to read it.

I mentioned I wish I had read The Montessori Baby sooner- mainly because I wish I had started a lot of the Montessori stuff from the very start. I feel like a topponcino might have helped with transferring Teddy when he slept. And, although I do not regret babywearing and feel that the kangaroo care style best suited me and Teddy, I do appreciate the Montessori messages around putting Teddy down and letting him have freedom of movement and exploration. I wish I did more of this, but then at the same time, I do remember really trying and him just screaming as soon I tried. So, part of me does think that must depend on the temperament of the baby.

The Montessori Baby also has a list of activities and toys for each age which is split into fine motor skills, gross motor skills and social and communication- so therefore, gives wonderful ideas of different activities I could do to support with developing skills at all different points of Teddy’s baby and infanthood,

The book also has lots of ideas on how to set up your home in more of the Montessori style (as mentioned with the toy and bookshelves). We also have a little crafts table for Teddy, an area for him to get dressed in his coat and shoes when we are getting ready to go outside and a reading/ bookshelf area where he has pictures which are more at his level so he can sit and look at them when he is choosing his books.

3.        What to expect in the first year by Heidi Murkoff

This book has a wealth of information. What I like most about it is that I can find almost anything I am wondering about in the index and there will be some advice or information about it which is very handy.

4.        Baby Play For Every Day: 365 activities for the first year by Dr Claire Halsey

This is such a cute book and one of my favourites. Like The Day-by-Day Baby Book I found it easy and manageable because it was one new idea for play each day, so it was a quick read, easy to process and gave me ideas for things I could do with Teddy. The play aspect is tricky when they are so little. I was probably too concerned with wanting to entertain him. I think if I did it again, I wouldn’t be as worried about ‘entertaining him’ as I have now realised that life in general is new and exciting and sensory to them- I don’t need to be doing anything special. And I would like to think I would appreciate the very simple and basic needs of a newborn now that I have a constantly-on-the-go toddler. But saying all that, this book has such lovely ideas. And I do feel some of the ideas have genuinely helped Teddy with his development- and have turned into some of his favourite games and things we do even now. They have some fantastic ideas for first sensations, visual stimulation and engaging ways to encourage movement and language.

5.        The Montessori Book for Babies and Toddlers by Maria Stampfer

Again, I purchased this a bit later on when Teddy was closer to 9 or 10 months. It has some fantastic Montessori styled ideas for play presented in a clear, simple way. I have put a picture of a couple of examples below

Baby Led Weaning- Best Buys!

1.        What Mummy Makes by Rebecca Wilson

I cannot rave about this book enough. Such a fabulous cookbook. Perfect for when we started to get a little bit more confident and experimental with the types of dishes we were giving Teddy. So many meal and snack ideas- and the meals are for all the family. They are really tasty. And easy to make. The book is beautiful and the instructions and everything are so clear.

2.        Bibado Bibs

Very cute and excellent at keeping clothes stain free. So useful for when you are eating out.

3.        Ikea highchair

We made the mistake of buying an expensive(ish) highchair as it was on offer in a shop. We didn’t really think too much about it and it ended up being too big and bulky and a nightmare to clean. It wasn’t easy getting Teddy in and out of it either- which isn’t ideal when you have a fear of choking. By the time Teddy was 1, we had swapped it out for the Ikea highchair which has been perfect. Cheap (only £19), lightweight, easy to clean.

4.        Bamboo plates and bowls

We started off with silicone and I realised that after a while it was making the food on it taste funny (a bit soapy). We swapped this out for bamboo which has been great. I think they look great, as well as being light and unbreakable, they wash really well too.

5.        Open cups- doidy (image below) and dinky cups (image to the right)

Teddy really struggled with the concept of an open cup. He has only really gotten the hand of it now. Both of these cups have helped. The dinky cup is small and easy for him to hold, lift and tip. Also, as it is small, there isn’t much spillage when he does tip it. The doidy cup’s shape means it is easier for him to tip the water into his mouth and meant he could get the hang of it a little easier

6.        Tum Tum Tippy Up free flow sippy cup (no valve)

A cute straw cup- we have the blue bear. Added bonus is that it has no valve so aids in helping Teddy learn to sip and drink properly.

7.        A splash mat

Baby led weaning is messy. Our dog, Toby, is excellent at cleaning up most of the best- and has probably loved baby led weaning more than any of us- but the splash mat is great at catching the vast majority of spillages and flung food.

8.        Chopping boards with different colours or different images so it is easy distinguish between what each one is used for.

To be honest, we probably were not as careful as we should have been about separating our chopping boards pre-Teddy, but since starting baby led weaning, I have thought about the safety behind food preparation in a brand new light. Definitely do not want to be taking any risks. Especially when Teddy had his egg allergy.

9.        Doddl spork and spoon set.

Best spoon and spork that we purchased. Teddy finds these the easiest to use and, now at 18 months, is pretty proficient at using them.

10.   Bento Box Style Lunchbox

Useful for when we are out and about or go out to a café, pub or restaurant to eat. Will link the one I have from Amazon. Really useful as separates the food and has little compartments and tubs included.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B071JMJNMY?ref=nb_sb_ss_w_as-reorder_k2_1_12&amp=&crid=3QDFJS9ZV2W6I&amp=&sprefix=toddler+lunc

Why I Love Baby Led Weaning!

Transitioning Teddy onto solids was highly emotive for me. First of all, I was absolutely terrified, and I mean terrified, of him choking. Secondly, there was something a bit emotional about him no longer just needing my milk. It felt like a huge sign that he was getting bigger and wasn’t my little baby Teddy anymore.

Even though I love/ have loved our baby led weaning journey, I will be honest and say I did struggle the first month with all the anxiety around getting it right and making sure he was safe. I still get nervous about certain things now- for example, even though he is great with quartered grapes, I still won’t give him any unless someone else is with us.

The things which helped ease my anxiety were to:

1.        First of all, do my research. I am going to give a highlight of the best books, apps, social media pages which really helped me decide that BLW was the best for me.

Baby Led Weaning: The Essential Guide by Gill Rapley and Tracey Murkett.

This is absolutely the best book I read in terms of convincing me that BLW was right for us. It made me realise that BLW is safe and can encourage healthy eating habits. It made me feel more confident in recognising the difference between gagging and choking. It helped me know what a safe, calm mealtime should look like.

Baby Led Weaning in 5 Easy Steps by Courtney Bliss

More of a summarised version of the essential guide, plus it has some recipe ideas. Perfect if you don’t have time to read a longer book.

Solid starts app

Our bible when it came to deciding what food to begin with and how to prepare it safely for Teddy. We would literally refer to it for every single meal. We still use it now.

Baby Led Weaning for Beginners and Beyond (BLWBB)

A wonderfully, supportive FB page with fantastic advice. I really love how a lot of their info is presented as images, making key messages and advice clear and concise. They always have good meal ideas shared on there too.

2.        Made sure I did it at a pace I felt comfortable with. There is no rush. It is not a race. I waited until 6 months and Teddy was showing all the signs of readiness (although he couldn’t quite sit on his own yet, he did need a bit of support). Then we slowly built up the amount of meals and snacks that we gave Teddy. It wasn’t until he was a year old that we were on the 3 meal, 2 snack a day recommendation.

 

3.        Reminded myself to enjoy it- it is truly an amazing thing watching Teddy discover new food and to witness his love of food.

 

4.        Slowly introduce allergens, making sure I introduced each one gradually and in isolation. Teddy did end up with an egg allergy. The second or third time we offered him egg he actually ate it properly and reacted a few hours later with vomiting and diarrhoea. It was really awful. I felt so bad we had given him something that caused him so much discomfort and distress. Thankfully, with guidance from a dietician, we were able to start the egg ladder at a year old and, now at 19 months old, he is absolutely fine with egg.

I love how BLW has enabled Teddy to enjoy the experience of food and eating with us. I love that food hasn’t just been means of nutrition for him, but a way of experimenting, learning and sensory play.

Now at 19 months, Teddy has only just started becoming a little bit pickier with food (particularly vegetables), but on the whole, he is really good eater and does love his mealtimes. He has a good appetite. I think if I could go back to the beginning of BLW with Teddy, I probably would have held off the fruit and stuck with just the vegetables for a little longer because he is utterly addicted- he could eat a whole punnet of raspberries in one sitting!

Teddy is now using his spoon and fork, finally getting the hang of an open cup and will blow on his food if he thinks it might be too hot. BLW has given us the opportunity to model how to eat at the table and he is thriving with this.

10 strategies for surviving with a velcro baby

From day 1 Teddy did not like being put down. He wanted to be held pretty much all the time. I didn’t want to leave him to cry it out and I don’t believe you can spoil a baby, however I had envisioned that I would be able to put him down for naps so I would have time to tidy, clean, do the washing, nap, get a little bit of a break, perhaps. I very quickly realised that wasn’t going to be possible for us and I have had to work around it. Yes, I did get the usual comments that I should just put him down and that I am spoiling him, but the way he would scream was so heart-wrenching. I knew that it wasn’t a case of him working around me, I needed to find ways and strategies to survive working around his needs, which apparently were to be very much glued to mumma all of the time. And I do get it. He has come from that safe, warm, snug environment of the womb to a harsh, noisy, bright world- and I am the only thing which is familiar to him. A familiar smell, a familiar sound. His blurry vision only able to somewhat focus on my face. So, what better way to recreate how he may have felt in the womb than by having him close and snug to me all the time? I can’t really blame him for feeling that way.

Ultimately, the following ten strategies helped me survive. And I mean survive. Not thrive. I was literally just getting by those first 7 months until he was able to sit up on his own and he got a little bit easier- he is still very clingy though, even now.

1.      Babywearing! I ended up using my izmi wrap way more than I anticipated. Aside from breastfeeding, I found it to be the next thing which was able to soothe Teddy. From day 1, Teddy would not be put down for a nap. He would wake as soon as I tried to place him down and would be distraught. And if I tried to put him down using the mythical strategy of ‘drowsy but awake,’ he used to cry to be picked up again. Babywearing meant I could have both hands free. Teddy would be happy, snuggled in and asleep. And I was able to get on with the things like walking the dog and doing the washing. Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to do the thing I desperately wanted to at the time (nap!- also, who is actually able to sleep when baby sleeps? Another mythical thing, seemingly) and I also found some tasks hard because I had to be careful about the way I was bending. Yet, I was able to use the wrap for skin on skin time, bonding and I just loved how sweet and cosy he looked all snuggled up. It was a lovely feeling being able to potter around with him close to me.

 

2.      Contact napping/ giving in to being nap trapped- Teddy fights his sleep. He fights it at night but he also fights it during the day. From about two months old Teddy would have stayed awake all day if we didn’t aid him to sleep. It took us a while to find some strategies which could help him fall asleep in the day, but to begin with, feeding to sleep was the only sure thing we had. However, if I fed him to sleep, I was then unable to move him and would be nap trapped! And, again, that meant I was often stuck and unable to get on with what I needed/ wanted to do. It also meant I would feel very touched out by the end of the day, I eventually learned to look at the nice side of it and embrace it. For example, it is the perfect excuse to get out of things and actually allow myself a little down time in the day. “Whoops, sorry, you are going to have to make dinner- I’m nap trapped.” “You are going to have to let the dog out, he has just fallen asleep on me.” “I guess I am just going to have to leave that piece of housework until later and spend the next hour and a half cuddling my sleeping baby.” I would make sure that I have my nappy caddy at hand with all the snacks and essentials I might need and I would binge light-hearted, guilty pleasure series (mainly old seasons of Love Island). It meant I had a bit of time to decompress and to be fair, the cuddles were/ are pretty amazing. The smell of his head, his little breaths, the rise and fall of his chest, the expressions he made in his sleep- especially when he smiles or laughs as he is sleeping. How content, peaceful and at home he is. I know I won’t ever regret cuddling him as often as I have whilst he is little as I know there will be a day where he won’t want to cuddle me anymore.   

 

3.      As mentioned above, a nappy caddy filled with snacks, water, muslins, the remote control- anything I might need within arm’s length- is a life saver.

 

4.      Putting the side down on the next to me crib. For some reason, I was reluctant to do this, but once I did, it did make a bit of an improvement with transferring Teddy into his crib. Obviously I still had issues, but being close to him, being able to hold his hand and the fact he was able to see and smile at me, made him a bit more tolerant with being put down to sleep. Although the success rate of transferal was still pretty low.

 

5.      Bouncer in the bathroom- was literally the only way I could shower when James was at work. He could tolerate being in there if he could see me/ be within arm’s length for when he did start to kick off.

 

6.      Planning everything ever so carefully and being as organised as a postpartum mess with extreme baby brain could be- so whenever I did have to put him down, I could do whatever I needed to do as quickly as possible to try and reduce the amount of time he would be screaming, i.e. having everything laid out and prepared the night before.

 

7.      Peekaboo- helps with separation anxiety. I started off with a translucent sensory scarf and would play a game of peekaboo, including music or funny faces, covering Teddy’s face or my own. Then I graduated to hiding behind things or popping out of the room to quickly grab/ do something and announcing “Peekaboo” on my return. It meant leaving him for a minute or two turned into more of a game than an absolute panic of abandonment for him.

 

8.      Singing in the car- Teddy hated/ hates the car. He used to get so upset and it would be so awful not being able to help him, alongside making it so hard to concentrate on driving when he was screaming. I found if I sang his favourite nursery rhymes, he would quieten down on hearing my voice. To be fair, this would only usually last for about 20 minutes maximum- although 20 minutes is a looong time to try and keep up a rotation of nursery rhymes at the top of your voice whilst you are driving. I was screwed if the journey was any longer. The nursery rhymes still work now- ‘row, row, row your boat’ is a particular fave in calming him down in an instant- he now tries to sing along.

 

 

9.      When Teddy was sitting up on his own, I made treasure baskets for each room. I made them relate to the room in some way and tried to incorporate a range of everyday and sensory items- i.e. a hairbrush, a slipper, a cuddly toy for the bedroom treasure basket, pots and pans for the kitchen, a flannel, a sponge and some bath toys for the bathroom. I would then sit Teddy close by to where I was busy doing something and he would entertain himself by rifling through his treasure basket.

 

10.   Having a Velcro baby is undeniably exhausting and obviously I would often find myself getting upset, frustrated or angry. It would often make the days feel very long and I would get so touched out. When I felt like this, I would try and change things up and do something different. For instance:

 

·        Go for a walk with Teddy and Toby and get some fresh air- I would always return feeling much better.

·        Tickle him so he would laugh- you can’t stay angry or frustrated after hearing a baby laugh, can you?

·        Put some music on and dance with Teddy around the living room- again, helped with changing my mood.

·        Arrange to meet up with a friend/ family member so I could have a change of scene/ company and a bit of a distraction from how I am feeling.

 

As Teddy began to crawl and walk, the ‘velcro-ness’ did lessen. Although, there are still times when he can be really clingy or will hang onto my legs wanting to be picked up. Now he is walking, I find it a lot easier to include him in things I am doing- showing him how to do things and how he can ‘help.’ Yes, it does mean everything takes ten times longer but, in a way, I do enjoy how it forces me to slow down and I like that he feels happier when he is involved. Having a velcro baby is really tough, but our bond is undeniable- and even though I have found it exhausting, I know I will look back on this time with absolute love and fondness in years to come.

20 surprising things about having a baby

 1.        The biggest surprise was how extreme my emotions have become. Obviously, this is partly down to hormones but I have honestly never felt such joy and love as when I just look at Teddy and think about how we have made this little person. He can do the tiniest thing and it completely amazes me. I must say “oh my god, he is so cute!” at least 10 times a day. I have never felt a love like this. It is almost too much- a bit overwhelming sometimes. For example, sometimes it goes from how lucky I am to experience all these little wonderful moments of Teddy each day to suddenly feeling guilty that I am not doing enough or (especially now I am back at work) I am missing out on things. Sometimes I worry that I should be doing things differently and I might be unintentionally disadvantaging or making his life harder in some way. Sudden feelings of fear are the worst- those intrusive thoughts that strike at the most random moments. All the what ifs. Even though it is inevitable, even just thinking about any of the pain, hurt, embarrassment, sadness or struggles Teddy will undoubtedly encounter in life absolutely chills me to the bone. I honestly struggle to watch anything remotely emotional on TV anymore as I can’t help but think that those people suffering were little babies once. I just generally feel like I feel everything, all the emotions, a whole lot more than I did before.

 

2.        I know I have written about this in a previous blog but I had no idea how difficult breastfeeding would actually be. I had people tell me it was hard. I even said to myself that I would give it a good go but not to stress about it if it wasn’t for me. Yet, I had no real idea how hard it actually was going to be in the beginning. I had no idea about all the things which come with it and, although it does get easier, the number of challenges I would continue to encounter and face.

 

3.        How I could sustain life for 6 whole months on breastmilk alone- still does not cease to amaze me.

 

4.        How hungry and thirsty breastfeeding made me. I have never really been a snacker and wouldn’t really need to eat that much throughout the day to feel full. I am now ravenous all the time. I can literally eat a meal and then ten minutes later could easily eat another one. I have never had such an appetite in my life. I definitely ate way too many sweet things throughout my maternity leave. It was lovely meeting up in cafes or going out for brunch- but having more than one cake a day has wreaked havoc on my teeth. I would also get sooo thirsty when I would feed Teddy. I had no idea that was a thing but as soon as he would latch I would get this instant thirst. I would drive James mad asking him to fetch me my water bottle all the time.

 

5.        This is probably the biggest one for me and, to be honest, the main thing which puts me off having a second- the sleep deprivation! It makes me laugh to think that I was the sort of person who could not function on anything less than 8 hours sleep before Teddy. I don’t think I can actually put into words the severity of sleep deprivation I had those first 7 months- and I think the only people who can understand are those who have gone through prolonged sleep deprivation- I don’t think you can even fathom what it is like if you haven’t. I am talking about (at its worst) having the odd 20 minutes nap here and there over a 24 hour period and then it being the same night after night after night with no idea where the end point would be. The amount of times I googled if it was possible to die from no sleep- because that is what it felt like- like I was dying- I am not kidding. Even worse was having to look after a newborn or a young baby on virtually no sleep. Imagine- you have just given birth, your body is utterly wrecked, emotions and hormones all over the place and you are responsible for keeping this tiny being alive having never done anything like it before on no sleep!  I don’t know how that is ok. I found the breastfeeding so draining too- I was running on empty. I used to dread bedtime because it just felt like a non-stop cycle of desperately wanting sleep but not being able to have it.

 

6.        How difficult the newborn stage is. I know everyone and every baby is different but I found it so hard. To be fair, it took me like 7 months to start finding things a bit easier (7 months is when he started sleeping better too so no coincidence there). Teddy wasn’t sleeping, I was finding the breastfeeding tough, he did not want to be put down from day 1 so I was having to babywear a lot and wasn’t getting any breaks at all. It felt like he was crying a lot. I was anxious about everything and felt like I was doing a terrible job. I think (as well as the sleep) when he started getting older and interacting more and could move around a bit more so be a bit more independent, things did start to get a bit easier. I feel like when he started to communicate with me (without crying) by using some words and signs, then it was much easier to understand what he needed and I felt more confident with what I was doing.

 

7.        Even though it has its challenges and there are moments when I definitely needed a break, I didn’t realise how much I would love babywearing. I had heard of ‘kangeroo care’ before having Teddy and had bought a sling in anticipation that it is something I might use the first few weeks as he acclimatises to being out of the womb, but I went on to babywear him pretty regularly throughout that first year. He has gotten far too wriggly for it now and just wants to be out holding and touching the things around him (he is also too heavy) but I loved having him close and having him sleeping all snug as I would go about my day.

 

8.        How much I want a break but at the same time how much I miss him when I am away from him.

 

 

9.         How quickly time passes. It feels like forever in the moment but gone in flash. It actually feels like yesterday that I found out I was pregnant and I can’t believe Teddy has now been in our lives for well over a year. And it amazes me how quickly he changes. I miss past versions of Teddy so much. I miss his little noises, milk drunk expressions and chubby rolls. However, I am equally really excited to see the little person he is becoming.

 

10.   How the novelty of having an infant has not worn off. He continues to amaze me every day and I am so grateful for him. It still feels brand new and exciting. He is my absolute world (soppy, I know).

 

11.   How much hair I lost. I would find it everywhere. I shed loads of it, so much so that I would worry about it getting tangled around Teddy’s little fingers and toes. And as it is now growing back I have all these wispy little hairs sticking out around my hairline. I look like a bewildered owl.

 

12.   How little babies actually do. I stupidly thought they learnt to crawl and talk pretty quickly. Seems obvious now, but I didn’t realise how long it would take for him to become more like a toddler but obviously learning how everything works is going to take a bit of time- duh!

 

13.   It feels like Teddy always either has a cold or is teething. There is never any respite. We are dealing with crankiness and sleepless nights because his gums are hurting, or because he is all snotty and congested. It is very rare to get even a few days in a row when we aren’t battling one of those challenges. I did not realise how relentless it would be!

 

14.   Not knowing what to dress him in for the weather. That constant paranoia of is he too hot or too cold. And just when I get used to it and get in a bit of rhythm of what to put on him, the season suddenly drastically changes and I am back to square one. This is even worse at night. I still don’t have a clue now what tog or how many layers to put on whenever there is a rise or fall in temperature in his room.

 

15.   How quickly his fingernails grow and how scary it is to cut them!

 

16.   How quickly you become unbothered about all the poop, pee, puke and snot. I really thought I would be grossed out by it all but I think I have at least one of these things on me at least 90% of the time, I got used to it pretty quick.

 

17.   My Google search history. Especially those first few months.

 

18.   Seeing the world with a fresh perspective through his eyes. I love how curious he is. I love how he approaches everything with wonder.

 

19.   How ignorant and naïve I was before having a baby. When I thought about having a baby, I only really thought of the positive and would daydream about all the nice bits. I really did not have a clue about how tough and challenging it can be. I thought he would just slot into my life. I did not really consider how much my life would actually change. I do feel so much more fulfilled now but I will be honest when I say that there are things from before that I miss and now realise that I really took for granted.

 

20.   How much it really helps to have a network of mums with babies who are similar age/ going through similar things to you. The support system I had from mum friends I had met when I was pregnant or through baby groups really helped me through some of my toughest, most exhausting times. It is so helpful to have a sounding board, that empathy and understanding, someone to have a moan and a laugh with. I will be forever grateful for those connections- they really made my experience as a first-time mum. 

14 of the best and most useful baby things I bought- 0-6 months:

1.   Although this is in no particular order, number one has to be my Izmi wrap. I started babywearing when Teddy was a week old and I have no idea how I would have survived otherwise. Teddy was a Velcro baby from day one and would absolutely scream whenever I put him down. Therefore, I needed the sling to be able to function and have two hands (especially when James’ paternity leave had finished). It was one of the ways I could get him to nap for extended period of times as he would not be put down for a nap. It was easy to use for a dog walk. And it was one of the main ways I could quickly settle and soothe him aside from breastfeeding. I still babywear Teddy every now and then, although I now use a more structured sling for walks. The Izmi sling is very long which can make it tricky putting it on as I am very short, but I watched videos before Teddy was born and got the hang of it pretty quickly. I also visited the Northants Sling Library which is a fantastic resource and they were so helpful with reassuring me that I was wearing Teddy correctly and offering advice

 2. Whilst on the topic of slings/ wraps, my hoody and jacket for babywearing are also fantastic. They have an inset so it goes over the sling and helps keep Teddy warm as well as being comfortable for me. They are both from Seraphine maternity.

 

3.      My next to me crib (Tutti Bambini CoZee Bedside Crib). Stupidly, I waited until Teddy was about 3 or 4 months old before I put the side down and had it attached to the bed. It was a game changer and made breastfeeding during the night so much easier (especially as Teddy was/ is an awful sleeper and I would have to bring him into my bed often throughout the night). By having the crib attached, I was able to feel close to him and could reach out and comfort him in the night. He would often hold my hand which was very sweet. And I would look over at him in the morning and he would give me this massive grin and be so happy to see me (even though he had seen me about a billion times throughout the night). I do miss having him next to me but the crib is only suitable for 6 months/ before they can sit up on their own/ up to 9kg. Teddy has now moved into his cot in his own room and, although I do prefer having my own space, I do also miss him. One thing I would consider if I was buying another next to me is the rocking feature. This one doesn’t really rock and rocking is something which aids Teddy to sleep.

4. Satin crib sheets- Teddy started getting a bald patch on the back of his head. One of my friends recommended satin sheets and although they are a bit pricier they did make a huge difference and his hair began to quickly grow back.

5. My boppy cushion- made breastfeeding so much more comfortable. And the amount I was doing it at the beginning, it was really needed!

6.  An extra nappy caddy- I kept one in the living room and filled it with snacks, drink, wipes, muslins, the remote control- everything I needed when I was nap trapped or cluster feeding.

 

7.      A white noise machine and night light- ok, so this did not work for Teddy in the sense that they do not get him to sleep. Teddy was (and is) a terrible sleeper. However, as Teddy got older, noises started to wake him up and the white noise machine is effective in hiding a lot of noise (particularly during the day). Over time, the nightlight became familiar to Teddy and I believe he does use it as a source of comfort and something which he associates with his bedtime routine. The nightlight also has a selection of different coloured stars and moons which have a setting where they move around the room. This was a wonderful distraction tool to buy me a few minutes to get ready in the morning and I still use it to quickly prep his breakfast and let the dog out before I get Teddy up for the day.

 8. Black and white contrast cards- Teddy absolutely loved these from the start and even gets excited when we get them out now. It was the first thing (aside from our faces) that he really focused on and was interested in.

9.      Foil blanket- just foil in general! Teddy loved the sound of crinkling foil and liked lying in it or hearing it near to him. It was a great distraction tool when he started cry and when I was changing his nappy. Teddy hates the car and during the summer, I would tie it (out of reach) to his car seat and open the windows and the breeze would flutter the foil around everywhere and it would distract him for a little while, making the car journey a little more bearable!

10. The mesh bags for washing machines- I use these for all of Teddy’s really tiny items of clothing, particularly when he was newborn, such as his socks. It ensures they don’t go missing in the washing machine and keeps them together.

11. Onesies with zips! So much easier, so much quicker. Useful when he was a newborn and I was having to change him multiple times a day but also useful as he got older and would squirm around a lot more. Really difficult to do tons of buttons when he is doing the alligator roll!

 

12.   The DK Pop up Peekaboo Books- these were the first books that Teddy truly paid attention to. Obviously peekaboo will always be a favourite but the pop up images are really big and the colours are vivid and contrast. It meant he was able to focus on them really well. He particularly liked the Under the Sea book with Ollie the Octopus popping up. As he has gotten older, these books are still a favourite. He knows where all the pop up flaps are and will open them himself and react to each of the characters.

 13.  Little Massage Course- this was the best massage course that I did. I am so glad I did it as I would massage Teddy every day up until he was about 7 months. That was when he started getting too fidgety and wanted to be on the go. It was great for bonding. It can soothe and comfort. It can help with reflux, digestion and aid with constipation. I found it to be some lovely, quiet time for just the two of us where I could 100% focus on him. It was a nice, relaxing addition to our routine.

14.   Swimming lessons- there are mixed views as to when to start swimming lessons for a baby. To be honest, I didn’t look too much into the research around it (which is weird for me!) All I knew was that I wanted Teddy to be familiar with swimming as soon as possible as I feel like it is one of the most important skills someone can learn. Also, at the time, Teddy absolutely hated baths, so I also wanted to do something to help with him feeling a bit better about being in water. I booked Teddy onto swimming as soon as he was able to. He was about 8 weeks old. I booked him onto Bubble Babies- a group held at a hydrotherapy pool where the water is really warm (as figured cold water probably wouldn’t help with the bath issue). He may have been a little too young for it at 8 weeks- he cried for the full first session and then half of the next- so maybe 10 weeks would have been better. But who knows, maybe he would have done that anyway and it was just a case of him getting used to it. From that third session onwards, he has absolutely loved his swimming, and very quickly grew to love bathtime too. He gets so excited about going in the water, loves splashing around. He kicks his legs and splashes his arm as if he is trying to propel himself forward in the water. He doesn’t mind getting his face wet and will go under the water no problem. It was one of his most favourite things to do and it has been lovely seeing how far he has come along.

 

My Breastfeeding Journey: Part Two- The highs and lows:

 

Pic: Still loving his milk and cuddles at 11 months.

Initiating and sticking to breastfeeding was definitely by far my biggest challenge on my breastfeeding journey but it certainly doesn’t end there. Don’t get me wrong, there are so many amazing benefits to breastfeeding- I particularly love seeing how much comfort Teddy gains from it, the audible sigh of relief, nuzzling in and the look of contentment on his face as he falls into a milk drunk haze. I feel like it has helped me bond with him. I love how it can fix all his woes. I love how it is the first thing he has known and it is his main source of familiarity and calm in a world which can be so strange, new and ever-changing for him. However, it is never smooth sailing.

First of all, after all the issues we had at the beginning I decided I was going to exclusively breastfeed and not use bottles (we topped him up with syringe). I was worried about him getting a bottle preference. It can be hard, however, having full responsibility for his feeds and not getting a ‘break’ as such with someone else feeding him. Especially at the start when he was cluster feeding for what felt like (and probably WAS) hours on end. I remember it would be dinner time when it would be at its worst and James would have to cut my food up for me and I would eat one handed. I was so nervous about messing up the breastfeeding again that once I got him on a good latch I would be frightened to move so could not get comfortable. My back would be aching and I would be trapped. We got a nappy caddy, James would stock it up with food and water and I would keep it nearby. I had no idea how hungry and thirsty breastfeeding made you! Especially thirsty. Even now, as soon as I latch him on, I get this unquenchable feeling of thirst. They say you use up a ton of calories breastfeeding and it definitely felt like that. I haven’t eaten so much in my life- and I was craving cakes and chocolate even more than when I was pregnant which has wreaked havoc on my teeth!

The amount Teddy was feeding meant that if I ever wanted to go out in public, it consequently meant I would have to feed in public- something I was extremely nervous about. For me, the most important thing was making sure Teddy was happy, comfortable and fed, but there was still some fear of what people think, what if people are judging me- or worse, what if they say something?!

A few things that helped me brave feeding in public are:

-Milk and You- the first place I breastfed (apart from the hospital) outside of my home and as they obviously are a group supporting infant feeding, I was made to feel really comfortable and supported there. It also helped that there were other mums breastfeeding there too.

-Knowing other mums who had given birth at a similar time to me who were also breastfeeding and being able to be out in public as a group made it much less daunting. It also helped to talk about any difficulties I am facing. Knowing that there is support and solidarity really helps.

-Wearing clothes designed for breastfeeding. I particularly liked Juno Jacks designs with the zipper sweaters. I find them really easy to feed in, really discrete (you can hardly see a thing) and I like the colours and designs and they have cute and funny breastfeeding/ parenting related slogans.

-Going out when I knew places would be a bit more quiet. I would often choose seats in the corner and/or my back to people so they probably wouldn’t be able to see what I am doing.

Once I got a bit more confident with the feeding, I started finding it quite easy to feed in public- that was until he got older and he started getting more distracted and would pop on and off and look around at what was going on around him. Luckily, as this started to happen, he also started to be able to go for slightly longer stretches between feeds so it meant that I could time things with being able to feed more privately as he was often able to wait until we got home.

Breastfeeding never becomes just easy though- there always seems to be something! Teddy’s sleep is so erratic that there has been many a night where my boobs have been confused as to why they aren’t on the zillionth feed of the night and I have leaked all through the bedsheets. Once he got his first teeth, he started biting for a week until he got used to them- ouch! He can also be really grabby and will slap, scratch, poke and pinch me as he feeds. He still likes to poke and prod at my mouth as he is feeding. I bought a feeding necklace but that only worked for a little while, apparently my face is much more interesting.

Despite all of this, I still felt strangely sad when we started on solids as I felt proud that my little 6lb 1oz 2^nd centile baby had grown into a chubby 91^st centile with rolls upon rolls on my milk alone- it felt weird going from absolutely all he needs to him starting his weaning journey (which is irrational as he obviously still needs me too as I still breastfeed him).

My next challenge will be returning to work in February. He will be a year old by then so I know, logically, he should be fine without my feeds in the day. However, despite the difficulties and frustrations breastfeeding can cause, I feel like I am going to find it hard to let go.