Lockdown reading and reading as inspiration for writing:

Surprisingly, I haven’t read as much as I usually do in lockdown. If I knew how long I would be at home at the beginning of lockdown, I would probably be shocked at how little I have read so far. I think this may be because I have been substituting some of the time I could be reading with a lot of writing and have been doing a few other different activities I wouldn’t normally do as well. The main times I read in “normal life” are on long journeys or audiobooks as I am getting ready for work in the morning- and as I am doing neither as much lately, I think that may be part of the issue also. I have had more time to think about what I am reading though. Usually (particularly when on holiday) I would just jump from book to book, swiftly picking up the next as soon as I had closed the previous, and I didn’t fully digest what I read. Now, I have more time, I am reading much more slowly and having a break before I pick up the next. Another way in which my reading is different is that (now that I am writing a lot more) I feel like I am looking at novels in a different way. I am thinking more about the writer’s process, wondering how they might have planned their narrative arc, why they have characterised characters in particular ways, etc. I am even starting to think about how I would have written the concept for the book (definitely not saying I would have written it any better, but it is interesting and fun to think about different ways the story could have gone!). I have always known, but now understand more than ever, how much reading can support your writing. Different books can support so many different writing ideas, so I thought I would write a little bit of my reading experience (as of late) and how these books have influenced my writing and the way I look at things.

This is one of the first books I read in lockdown and although it is anthology of all things Spring and not a fiction book as such, it really made me feel happy thinking about that transition from Winter into Spring and how much nature can influence mood and atmosphere. I love the change in seasons and would love to include more exploration of season change and nature in my writing. I feel that anthologies like this are a great place to start for inspiration.

I used to be obsessed with Greek Mythology as a child. I would read The Gorgan’s Head (pictured-not a lockdown read) over and over again… you can probably tell from the discolouration and bent cover… It used to scare me a little bit, yet for some reason it would be the “go to” read when I wasn’t supposed to be reading at night time and I had to sneak out into the hall where the light was left on in order to read it. Despite my childhood obsession, I hadn’t touched anything with any reference to Greek Mythology since studying Homer at University, so it was lovely to take the time to read this Greek re-telling (pictured left). I really enjoyed it and I really liked the romantic element. I have never been any good at writing romance or non-platonic intimate connections between characters, so I felt I learnt a lot about crafting those believable relationships from reading this. 

I really liked the tone and atmosphere of “The Secret History” (my next read). It is totally in line with the atmosphere I like to build in my writing, bordering more on the unsettling and eerie, and I really enjoyed how obsession and the nuances of character motivation was explored using the unreliable narrator. I love narrators who I can judge, speculate about and not entirely trust, and I am keen to build some of these narrators into more of my narratives.

Next was “Americanah.” I had been meaning to read this for such a long time. It had been on TBR for at least half a year and I am really glad I got around to reading it in lockdown. This was a fantastic novel on many levels. It was extremely layered, and again, I feel like it taught me a lot about characterisation and how much impact nuances in social interaction can have within a narrative.

And finally, I am reading “The Last.” This is actually a book my husband had purchased for himself. I am at the stage now of scouring the bookshelves for books I haven’t read yet or have accidently neglected to pick up, and I was initially hesitant wtih reading a book about the end of the world in the current climate. I haven’t finished it yet, but am enjoying the mystery it is currently conveying and I am thinking about how I might best evoke curiosity and mystery within my own writing- particularly as I am intending on writing a YA thriller.

I would love to know what you have been reading in lockdown. Leave me a comment and let me know all about your current reading journeys 😊 

My First Rejection

I received my first agent rejection on Monday. It was from the first agent I sent to. The “dream big” agent. My number one pick. Surprisingly, my first reaction wasn’t one of disappointment or sadness. I actually felt okay and, unexpectedly, motivated. I had been sending queries for about 2-3 weeks, and was actually worried I was going to fall into a void of being not heard at all, of nobody even picking up my chapters, or just complete and utter radio silence, so to know that they have even looked at what I have written (even if the answer is a no) made me feel somewhat relieved. And even though I have been rejected by my dream agent doesn’t necessarily mean it will be the same with the others. I feel that the fact that I have taken this plunge and been brave enough to put my work out there is a huge milestone for me, and I am still proud of that. I won’t let rejections get me down, and I am going to keep on pursuing my dreams. 

What Next?

I have researched the agents I want to send my novel to and have started sending queries. With the time for agents to respond (if they do) being sometimes 12 weeks or more, I know that now it will just be a waiting game. So, what to do in this time? I know the best way to fill my writing void is to start writing something else, but it is hard to let go of my first little creation and start focusing on something different. It feels like I am subconsciously giving up on it or laying it to bed way too early. However, now that I have time (time that I will probably never have again) and now that I am in a bit of a writing routine, I know the best thing is to keep writing.

I want to go BIG this time. My first novel was easing me back into writing- a succinct 26,000 with impact. I want to try out some new things. Have a go at world-building or something like that, although I am not sure where to start. Does anyone use anything for their world-building to help them create it? Are there any useful writing tools available to help with constructing something a lot bigger? These are all just ideas at the moment, little thoughts, because I am still in the process of moving on from my last, but I do want to use this time well and keep on writing 😊.

I'm querying!

I have never had greater deliberation on pressing that “send” button than I had yesterday at 11:07 am. I am not sure why- I had been intending to send the email for weeks; had prepared my cover letter, synopsis and chapters; gone through it all with a fine-tooth comb, and had others double check everything for me, but still, that pause before pressing send was excruciating! I have done it- I have sent my first ever query to an agent- my dream agent- and I know the wait will be long and I know the chances of being noticed by the agent is slim, but I am proud that I am finally summoning the courage within me to do things I have always dreamed of but never dared.

I know not to put all my eggs in one basket. I will send to more agents. I know the general recommendation is to send to half a dozen to a dozen, but I just thought for now, for this momentous occasion, I would send to just one (the one I would love to work with the most) and then will start working more strategically through my list. I think I just needed to get over that hurdle of sending my first ever query, and hopefully I will be pressing that “send” button much more confidently for the rest.

Fingers crossed!

Getting Feedback On My Book

So, for the first time in my life I have let other people read what I have written. I have finally worked up enough courage to send my book to people and ask them to comment and provide feedback on what I have written. Why is sharing writing such a scary thing to do? Most of us are writing to be read, but then those initial first steps of actually sharing our creations is one that I never feel confident about. Yet, I want people to give me feedback, I want them to tell me what they liked and didn’t like, I want to know how my book might possibly be received, any plot holes I may have missed, I want to know how to make it better. It isn’t that I am scared of being criticised. That is something that has never really bothered me in any aspect of my life. I am reflective, I actually like learning how I could improve on things. I think it may more be an issue of self-doubt. I have written something that I think works, but what if I am completely delusional and another person reads it and doesn’t get it at all- or thinks it foolish or worse, uses it to make a judgment upon me. All irrational insecurities, I know. But now I have actually taken the leap and shared my writing, I am not sure what all that fear and insecurity was really about. Ok, I admit, I have mostly only sent it to family and friends- baby steps-and I know their feedback is going to be much more gentle than someone who doesn’t know me. But I have started to branch out a little and started sending it to the actual audience my book is intended for. It is a YA, and I had initially only sent it to adults. My original plan was that I was going to share it in the school I work at once I felt ready to, amongst my English classes and in the library (anonymously) so I could get some feedback from the YA readers who would be reading the YA book, however with the school closing, I was unable to follow through with the plan. I also haven’t felt that the sharing of what I have written would be appropriate (or anonymous) through our home-learning systems. Despite this, I have managed to find a couple of willing volunteers in the targeted age group who are not close family or friends and I am currently awaiting feedback from them.

It would be interesting to know what processes other writers go through in obtaining feedback for their books, so if anyone reading this has a particular way they work through their feedback process, I would love to know.

I've Finished Writing My Book!

I have done it! I have written a book- something I always dreamed about doing and, to be honest, if I never even do anything with my book following this, it still feels good to be able to say that I have always wanted to write a book and that I have done it. It is mine, the characters are my creation, the plots (hopefully somewhat original) are my ideas, and even if only a handful of people ever read it, I don’t really care, because I am just proud that I imagined something and spent the time and care to put it all on the page. It is amazing how quickly one can finish a novel under lockdown- albeit a relatively short YA one that I have been writing.

Now, the editing and proofreading stage is going to be a tricky one. I have tried, and have fixed a few bits, but it was difficult to be critical with myself having so recently written it all down. I figured I might need a bit of a break from it and then go back to see what I can improve and develop. It is hard to do that because I am fizzing with so much excitement and energy at just finishing my book-I feel like I want to do more with it, and I am missing the actual processing of writing itself. I don’t want to move onto anything new just yet (although I do have a few ideas) because it would feel like I am just abandoning my first creation and moving on, when it has so newly been completed, but I am just not sure what I want my next steps to be.

Even though it is massively unedited, I have decided to brave the stage of having others read it. First, testing the waters with family members, and then sending it out to a few close friends. I am wondering how much further I will feel confident branching out. My best friend was the first one to read it in full and she sent me the gift, pictured below. I have put it in my writing space. The support my family and friends are giving me is so lovely, especially when we aren’t even able to see each other.  I do realise family and friends are going to try and be nice about the book, and are more likely to praise then criticise, but I want them to feel they are able to give me some constructive criticism. I want to know what chapters they enjoyed, but also, I genuinely want to know what just doesn’t work. The way my book is structured is really flexible and I can delete and move around elements of the plots without much issue, so actually, any doubts they have when reading will be so helpful to me in this dreaded editing stage.

 If anyone has any suggestions on what they do when they have finished a book, I would love to know 😊

A Writer's Life For Me

I am one week and one day into writing full time and playing pretend at somewhat living the writer’s lifestyle I have always wanted. Obviously, we are going through a pandemic and I am still technically working my usual, full time job, but being at home means I can pretend I am a real writer, and I am loving that aspect of it.

As I revealed in my previous blogs, I have created my “at-home” writing space. I have kept it nice and tidy- a real productive working space- and have used it almost every day. I have bought myself a mug which suggests I’m an author, even though only my husband has read my work, but if the mug says I’m an author at least I can pretend to be as I drink my tea. I’ve even purchased a t-shirt to wear when I write that says “Eat. Sleep. Write a Book,” which is pretty much all I am doing at the moment, so really reads true.

As of today, of this moment, I have written 24,206 words in just over a week. I am proud. I am motivated. Even if my work ends up being rubbish, I’ve still accomplished something and I am really, really close to finishing it. It could happen tomorrow. Maybe even the next day. But I am really looking forward to finally being able to say “Look- I’ve done it! I’ve always wanted to write a novel and here it is!”

Of course, the editing part is going to be arduous, but that just part of the process- a writer’s life is certainly for me!