Losing at Social Media

Despite being a “millennial” I have never really been an avid social media user. I never really “got” it. MSN was more of a useful tool to arrange outings with friends, much easier than walking all the way to their house only to hear they are “already out” at the door, or to make that terrifying phone call to their home number (before the time of mobile phones) and risk their parents answering and having that awkward moment of whether you should address them by surname, first name or just “__’s mum/dad.” I had a MySpace page I hardly touched and shook my head at the idea that someone from another school was well known in ours because they were “MySpace famous”- always with the best pictures or the latest soundtrack introducing their page. Then it was the transformation into Facebook. Whilst everyone else started documenting their lives, tagging friends and places, although I used Facebook to keep in touch with those closest to me, most of my updates (when I did update my status) were pictures of my pets. I didn’t even have it on my phone.

That was another issue that left me behind in this rapid growth of life online. The first time I had a phone where I could access the internet was only about 3 years ago. And that phone was second hand and given to me by a friend who was sick of what he called “my flip phone that looked as though it had come out of a Destiny Child’s music video.” I never really wanted a phone I could do everything on. Maybe it was partly snobbery, partly because I am someone who prefers the more old-fashioned ways, but I was worried that if I got a phone which gave me endless access to social media, apps and games, then I would never be off it. I would be like all those people you see, heads eternally craned over their devices, not communicating with the people around them. I like to live in the moment. If I have made plans to see someone, I am there to see them. My phone will remain locked in my pocket or face down on the table and I won’t even feel the slightest urge to check it. It will remain switched off and in my bag throughout the entire workday. I think the fact that mobile phones these days can do anything and are limitless scares me a little, so I feel like I have to be extra strict and restrictive with how much I actually use it.

I will admit, once I had a phone with internet access and with the download of Instagram, I posted a lot of pictures to begin with. Instagram is great at pulling you in, especially when you are new to it. All of those filters giving your life a little extra sparkle. And that unlimited access to all your favourite celebrity’s lives- you can literally see what they are doing every hour of the day if you really wanted to. But after a while, even the intrigue of Instagram wore off.

So, as you can see, over the years, I have always coasted by on social media, and that has never really been a problem… until now. I did quite a bit research before I started getting more serious about writing in February. A lot of the research was just dreaming big. What if I did finish writing a novel? What if I did want to submit it to an agent, what would I do? What should I be thinking about before I even begin? I quickly noticed that one thing that has changed over the years is the online presence of authors. I kept seeing/hearing/reading the message again and again that a writer needs a social platform and that they should start one as soon as possible.  As I am clearly inept at the whole social media thing and certainly do not have the skills to create a following, this message filled me with dread. But seeing as I was trying new things, trying to ignore all doubts and just give it a go, I thought I would at least try and do what I can. And who knows? Maybe I could learn.

This blog was my first step into being brave, and actually sharing myself on a platform that anyone could really see- and I have actually enjoyed this bit. However, I think I have enjoyed it because I know not many people are reading this (mostly a few close loved ones who already know what I think and feel, so I really don’t mind them seeing this). Therefore, it feels like a safe space- low threat, still a bit private. I knew I had to be braver, and the suggestions online were that Twitter was the best place to go because it has a thriving and supportive writing community. I figured I could post links to my blog posts on there, and hopefully a fellow writer or two might see it and I could build some support or momentum from there.

I have never really tried with Twitter before. I had an account as a teenager and used it to follow a few bands, but I don’t remember using it for long or really posting anything. I wanted this account to be purely about writing and I wanted to be able to communicate with fellow writers. I had visions of being able to seek and share advice, of discussing inspiration and just talking about all things bookish with others who share my interest. Obviously in real life, I can talk about writing with those I feel confident enough sharing my writing with, but unless they are writing something too, the conversation can only really be surface level. I could see why the online world offers more and why people are drawn to it in hope of finding those going through similar experiences. Having been on Twitter and trying to integrate myself in the writing community for almost two months now, I can say that I am definitely losing at social media. I just don’t get it. I am trying to post things that are interesting. I am trying to use the right hashtags. I am following others and following back. I am commenting on tweets. Yet whenever I post anything, the response it often almost nothing- and most of the time I am actually asking for genuine opinion and advice. I am sure the writing community on Twitter is as warm and supportive as everyone says. I have seen it be the case with others- new people introducing themselves to the community and receiving a hundred good-natured responses. But I just can’t seem to get that. I currently feel like the little tag-along in the playground, watching the game and hoping to get picked. I think I am doing something wrong, I just can’t seem to work social media. Perhaps it is punishing me for my rejection of it over the years. So, if anyone has any tips or advice on how to integrate yourself more successfully in Twitter communities online- please let me know. In some dire need of help here!