Short Story Competitions

 I have written a number of short stories this year and decided to have a little look to see if there are any short story competitions I could enter my stories into.

I ended up spending hours researching various competitions online and discovered the following things:

1.       Most short story competitions take place in the first half of the year- oops, seems I have missed them!

2.       There are very few “free to enter” competitions. Those that are “free to enter” are either for children or already published writers. The competitions that seem to be the most prestigious and have the highest monetary prize were exclusively for published writers. So not only do published writers already have their foot in the door of the writing world, they can enter for free and gain a substantial prize…hardly seems fair to me…

3.       Most competitions require an entry free and I couldn’t help but notice that some of those entry fees are rather extortionate.

After my many hours of research, I decided that the best option for me is to wait until January and take another look at what there is to offer. But I did find two competitions that seem a little bit more up my street. One was for teenage readers, which is exactly who my short stories are aimed at, and I really liked the ethos of the site- promoting reading for pleasure for young people. Fingers crossed the judges like it!

Visit to the Cotswolds- my break between finishing my second draft and before I start editing

I have spent the past five days in the quaint beauty of the Cotswolds- a lovely interim between finishing draft number two and before I start the arduous and pain-staking task of editing. I have also found some more sources for inspiration and really taken time to appreciate the splendour of the British countryside.

This is the first time I have been to the Cotswolds and I will certainly be going again. We spent most days walking and were fortunate enough to have pleasant weather for October. I enjoyed watching two sheepdog herd their sheep, walking through a field that had hundreds of pheasants flying out in a mad panic (although it did make me jump), seeing a number of red kites and kestrels and just generally appreciating all the autumnal colours.

It has been a lovely mini-break and now I am back home I am going to make a start on my editing. Wish me luck! 

Second Book- Complete!

Thirty-six chapters and 42,245 words later, I have finally finished my second book. It is a YA mystery, inspired by one of the short stories in the short story collection (book number one) that I wrote earlier this year. I have been writing since April and it feels really good to reach this milestone.

I started writing book number one in February as a way of getting myself back into writing, and short stories definitely eased me in until, very quickly, it became a collection. As I am trying to challenge myself this year and do all the things I have been putting off/ been afraid to do, I sent it to a few agents but to no avail. There isn’t really a market for YA gothic short stories.

Instead of giving up, and also not wanting the concepts and characters from my collection to go to waste, I decided to start turning them into longer stories with more nuanced plots- hence the birth of book number two.

I am really proud of getting it done, but I know there is still a lot of work to do. I haven’t edited or really proofread it yet, and with 42, 245 words, I imagine that is going to take me a really long time. And, I would also like to have some verdicts of the finished thing from some readers before I start the terrifying process of emailing agents.

But for now, I can kick back and say- “I have finished my second book of 2020!”

A little update...

 Just a little update from the last time I blogged. I was so close to finishing the second draft of my WIP with only 2-3 chapters left to go but I haven’t really written anything for the past two weeks. It is partly because of two reasons.

Reason 1: It was my birthday, so I spent last weekend celebrating with close family (it was my mum’s birthday too) and enjoying all the bookish gifts I have been given. This includes some comic books and an Edgar Allan Poe stationary set (!).

Reason 2: Work has gotten super busy towards the end of term, what with mock exams, marking and various other things which all seem to happen at the same time making the end of term relentlessly hectic and non-stop. I have come home late every evening, usually with work to still finish at home, so I haven’t had the time nor energy for writing.

However, my holiday is coming up, and I am planning on spending 5 days in the Cotswolds, so hopefully that will inspire me to get on with my writing and get those final chapters done!

Fingers crossed for a more promising update next time!

Influenced by the seasons...

 Yesterday I added a new chapter to my second draft of my WIP. It was a spur of the moment, last minute but needed addition. I felt that it added another layer to the world I am building and aided with the tension and suspense of the subsequent chapter. As I was writing it, however, I noticed that the atmosphere had suddenly changed to become really autumnal. Considering most of my story is set in summer, I had no idea where these Autumn vibes had come from, but then I realised- I think I write whatever season I am currently in. I wrote my first draft throughout the summer months and descriptions of honeysuckle scents, fluttering butterflies and the intense, unrelenting heat of the sun are inherent throughout the story, but as soon as I started writing yesterday, with the September sun shining upon me, the story began to take on tones of shining gold hues, hay and pumpkins. It’s funny, I have never noticed it before. Do you write with the seasons? Comment down below.

What I have been doing when I could be writing...

This week hasn’t been a particularly successful week with my writing and I can’t even use the excuse of having been too busy with work! I had time to write this week, but I didn’t. I just had a week where I felt massively distracted by everything that wasn’t writing.

So, what have I been doing when I could be writing?

Crafting

After getting a little more adventurous with my crafting skills over lockdown, I decided I would try and make some of my Christmas gifts this year- only for my parents, because they have got to love whatever I give them, no matter how disastrous it looks. I am currently making something that involves far too much paint, picture frames and polystyrene stars and it has all been quite messy. I have been trying to couple my messy painting with soaking up the last of the ‘summer’ sun and have been doing most of my painting outside, in the garden, with a cup of coffee. It has all been rather peaceful.

Walking

Just to add to trying to make the most of the September sun, I have been going on walks whenever I can. I am determined to continue walking this year. I love walking. It is one of my most favourite things to do. I love the British countryside and there is nothing better than going on a hiking adventure. However, I tend to only do this from March- August and never seem to really get my walking boots out over the Autumn and Winter months. I promised myself over lockdown this year that I will keep on walking and spend time appreciating some autumnal and wintry walks.

Seeing the family

With having a few vulnerable family members in my immediate family, I wasn’t able to see them so much over lockdown. I am really family orientated, usually spending multiple days throughout the week with my parents and my nan, so this has been really hard for me. Now that I am back at work, I feel that I need to be especially cautious as I am aware that I could easily catch things from the students, even with the measures in place, and perhaps not even realise it. So, when I am able to see my family nowadays it is particularly special. It is my birthday coming up soon and as the weather was nice on Sunday we had a socially distanced meal in my parents back garden and watched a Christmas 2019 video James and I had made. It was so strange watching us celebrate Christmas not knowing what was to come in just a few months’ time.

Watching Series

It is amazing how much time TV can just drain away. In just a week, I have watched:

-The second series of The OA: Bizarre and surreal. I like the acting, the characters and elements of the plot but sometimes it pushes it way too far. The octopus? What was that about?

-Strike- Lethal White: This was interesting because this was the first time I had watched a series so close to having finished the book (I read Lethal White over lockdown). I liked that I could remember so much more detail but disliked when characters didn’t quite match up to my expectations- definitely thought a certain character in particular would be more of a caricature of Boris Johnson, but maybe they wouldn’t quite be able to get away with that.

-Sharp Objects: I am about halfway through this series. I love all of Gillian Flynn’s writing. I absolutely love her imperfect and unreliable protagonists. I had forgotten, however, how dark her writing can be and can’t watch too many episodes of Sharp Objects in a row or end up feeling a tad depressed.

Anyway, my point is- far too many hours wasted on television!

Reading

Usually my reading accompanies my writing. When I am in a reading mood, I tend to write a lot too and vice versa. I haven’t read as much as I usually do this past week but I have read some of Jamaica Inn. I had been meaning to read it for a really long time and I am really enjoying the description of Cornwall and the atmospheric writing.

Now I have allowed myself to be torn away from my writing for a while, I guess I should get back to it. I only have about 10 more chapters of my current WIP to write, so hopefully, I can get my act together and dedicate some of my next weekend to writing.

Sequels!

 As I work through my second draft, I can’t help but think about potential ideas for a sequel of my current WIP. Is this something anyone else does? I am not sure if it is a wise thing to do as obviously I haven’t even finished book number one, I have no idea how it is going to be received by potential agents and it may never even be published. Therefore, should I even be wasting my time with daydreams of a sequel? It has got me wondering, should I tie everything up neatly in this draft or should I leave a few things loose with prospects of a second book. Could I leave enough mystery so that it holds possibility for a continuation but not too much mystery so that if there never is a follow-up, it doesn’t destroy the story too much, or leave too many things unanswered?

Let me know your thoughts. Do you ever find thoughts straying to potential sequels as you write? Do you already start writing with sequels in mind, potentially even already plotted and planned? Or do you just purposely write for a one-off and then consider any sequel ideas later?

Some thoughts on perspective...

 I am very aware that the majority of characters in my most recent WIP are female. I didn’t plan it that way- it just sort of happened. The fighter, the thinker, the puzzle solver, the helper, the decision maker, the caregiver, the villain- all female and all perceptive, thoughtful and clever. I suppose that is good in terms of developing strong female leads in YA fiction, but part of me is wondering if I am writing these characters because they are the characters I am comfortable with, the characters I understand, have experienced and seen in my everyday life and actually, the reason why  I haven’t created a male version of them is because I don’t actually know what a male version of them would actually be like.  I can’t create an honest portrayal of them because I don’t really, accurately know what men think and feel, I don’t know their shared experiences, so I am subconsciously avoiding it entirely. 

Then it got me wondering, can we ever truly and successfully write from the perspective of the opposite sex without having experienced what it is like?

I thought back to books where I remember feeling distinctly irritated by a male writer’s portrayal of a female character (I am sorry George R.R. Martin but I am not always hyper aware of my breasts- they are just kind of there and I don’t think about them most of the time!), and when I tried to think about female writer’s portrayals of male characters or stories written from their point of view, I couldn’t remember if I questioned how realistic and true their thoughts and feelings were because, ultimately, I haven’t really got a clue how a man thinks. I can guess. I can use models of the men in my life and try to fit their reactions to things into the portrayals I am being given, but I have no idea if it matches their inner thoughts and desires, the parts of us we keep hidden. Maybe men do think that way, maybe they don’t. Maybe that is a typical experience for a man, maybe it isn’t. I wouldn’t know.

I write female characters because I can relate to them, and I guess there is nothing wrong with that, but I would love to hear of any novels or books where writers have written from the perspective of a member of the opposite sex and have done it in a relatable, believable and realistic way. Let me know of any suggestions you might have in the comment box below.

Weekend Writing

After my last blog post on returning to work and my fear that I will be too tired/ won’t find the time to write, I was determined to spend some scheduled writing time this weekend.

I went on a couple of walks which I think helped a lot and enabled me to settle down to write, and I managed to reach over 20,000 words in my second draft. It felt good to make that progress and to have some solid writing time. I think even if it just ends up being a “weekend thing” from now on, at least I won’t be giving up on what I have started.

This time, as I am writing, I have been sharing my story with a few close family members and friends, which is something I haven’t tried before. With my previous collection of short stories, I waited until I was finished with my collection before sharing them. I have really enjoyed  ‘sharing as I write’ as it has been so helpful getting their feedback when the ideas are fresh in my mind and I can go back and change them much more quickly and easily. I am ever so grateful that they are so willing to read what I have written and to give up some of their time to do it. I really appreciate their encouragement. I have loved hearing their theories about what might happen next and differing opinions on characters. As a result, I feel like this feedback is also helping to fuel my determination to keep writing.

P.S Below is a picture of some sunflowers I found on one of my walks 😊

Back to work and finding time to write...

 All the way back in February, when I decided I finally wanted to get back into writing, I had some time off work and in those two weeks I was able to put pen to paper and start my writing journey. Then, the school closed and I found that (although I was still working from home and I eventually was in school part time teaching year 10), it was nowhere near as intense as a full time teaching timetable and meant that I had even more glorious time for writing. From February until the start of August, I wrote 13 short stories and the first draft of a YA novel but I knew that once I returned to work full time, I wasn’t going to be able to find quite so much time to write. However, I was determined to make time. I even planned a little schedule. Writing time in the evenings and weekends. It looked great on paper. But returning home each night this week, I didn’t take into account how absolutely exhausted I would feel. I am not used to walking around quite so much (especially in heels), being in constant ‘teacher/ performance mode’ and talking to so many people continuously throughout the day. It is both physically and mentally draining and all I want to do when I get in is eat, do something utterly mindless like watch TV, then sleep. I just couldn’t push myself to write. Even just turning my laptop on when I got home was off-putting as I had spent so much time on my laptop at work planning lessons and emailing and everything. I  couldn’t bring myself to type another word. It got me thinking- how do part time writers with full time careers that require so much of them find the time to write? And, even more impossible, how do writers with children manage? If you are either one of these, and you have some helpful tips, I would love to hear them! 😊

I got distracted by the sunshine...

 I started last week with good intentions. I organised my writing space, adorned it with flowers and a pretty new sign (see below), lit a candle and got to work. I managed to write over 10,000 words in one day, sent my chapters to a few friends who have kindly given me some feedback and even researched some literary magazines and short story competitions. I was feeling very productive.

Then the sunshine hit, we had a six day heatwave and I just could not bring myself to write anymore. To be fair, my lovely little writing space was far too hot to write in and all I felt like doing was reading instead. Although I would have much preferred to have kept motivated and written a lot more (as I felt that I was on a bit of a roll) and I am starting back at work soon so I will not be as fortunate to have so much writing time for much longer, I can’t begrudge the time reading. As I have probably said before, I always feel that reading helps me when I hit a writing wall and I immersed myself in the world of The Witcher, Nevermoor and The Time Traveller’s Wife across those six days and, truth be told, they were days well spent.

Now, let’s get back to writing…

Hi, I'm Back :)

I haven’t posted in a little while as I decided to take a bit of a break. It was partly because of recommendations to wait a minimum of two weeks between writing your first draft and then reading through and starting your second draft. Apparently, it is better to have that space between the two drafts so I can view what I have written with more clarity once having distanced myself somewhat.

I have partly also taken a break because it was the start of the summer holidays. I am sure I have mentioned  that I am Head of English in a secondary school in an earlier blog post and although I was still in school for part of lockdown alongside teaching remotely, the level of work (with not actually being in school for so many hours/days) was substantially less- I actually had evenings and weekends where I could write. Despite this, I still wanted to feel like I was getting away and having a bit more of a break. Therefore, I decided to treat the first half of my summer holidays like a summer holiday and allow myself to have a total break from everything. I went away with my husband for about 10 days and have spent a few days getting back on top of things now we are home. We have also celebrated our first wedding anniversary and it was nice to reminisce about time spent with family and friends last year.

In my last post, I was determined to get ready for that second draft and I am afraid to say that I am nowhere near that point yet. I have organised my writing space a little but a lot more work needs to be done to make it a comfortable enough workspace to be productive in. I am pretty sure I am just procrastinating now. Let’s hope I am more motivated this week 😊

My First Draft

On Thursday I finished the first draft of my new novel. I have been ambitious with this one. This was my first full length novel. I am more of a fan of short stories. It was a thriller/mystery genre. Before I had specifically stuck to gothic fantasy. It was a challenge and I wasn’t sure about it for most of the time I was writing it. I liked 3 things about it (the beginning, the middle and the end) and everything in between felt a bit like a means to an end. Fortunately, actually reading back through what I have written, it doesn’t actually feel like that and some of those ‘means’ have actually made for the addition of interesting characters and development of the setting, so have probably helped me out a lot in the long run.

I have noticed a few things I am guilty of with writing a longer novel. I start off incredibly descriptive and then that level of description just wanes as the novel progresses and I speed towards the end. That is something I will have to fix in my second draft because I felt there was a lot of beauty in the description at the start and I just lose it by trying my best to get to the thrilling parts as quickly as possible. I am guilty of forgetting key bits of information as the novel develops- I kept changing my mind about some initials and they have ended up probably being every letter in the alphabet by the close of the novel. I am guilty of having terrible handwriting yet insisting on handwriting it all- that is going to be a bit of a puzzle when it comes to typing it up.

On the whole, I have enjoyed writing something a bit different. I have ended up creating something that is so much more about sisterhood and motherhood than I ever initially anticipated, and I am proud of the results.

I have decided I am going to leave it to settle for a while before typing up. I might distract myself with tidying up my writing space and making it feel special again (it has become a bit neglected over lockdown) and maybe creating myself a bit more of a rigid schedule. I feel like I have totally fallen into a lifestyle of doing what I want to when I want to do it which I know won’t be as feasible “in the real world,” and when I go back to work.

We’ll see if any of this happens in my blog post next week 😊

Why I love minor characters...

I have always, since childhood, supported the underdog. I was never a fan of the flashy, heroic head-lining characters who seemed to have everything going for them (or him, in most cases). I loved the sidekick, the underrated villain, the quirky character who pops up for some comic relief or merely as a plot function. They were the ones I supported. Not only because I felt they were undervalued but, in some cases, I was able to fill in the gap about them in my imagination. I didn’t know their backstory, wasn’t explicitly told what drives and motivates them, wasn’t exposed to obviously narrated clues to how they are currently feeling. I could decide. I could create them to be so much more of something in my mind.

My favourite character in the Harry Potter series is Narcissa Malfoy. Her love for her son and her decision at the end of the series (no spoilers) completely and utterly enthralled me and trying to truly understand her motivations, the intricacies behind her decisions, was something I wasn’t plainly told, I had to think about it, work it out. I am much more fascinated by Nurse Ratched in One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest than I ever will be by Randle McMurphy and TV show-wise, having finally complete Pretty Little Liars, Mona has to be my absolute fave. (Some spoilers)-  I often found myself rooting for her over the others and was in complete denial that she was as cruel and sadistic as she was initially made out to be- I knew there was more to her and I liked second-guessing her motivations, her desires, etc.

I think those examples reveal that perhaps I am more fond of the morally questionable characters that skirt along the sidelines, inciting conflict, toying with being undeniably evil but then doing something that makes me wonder if that really is the truth in it, are they unquestionably antagonistic or is there more them than that? And I will never know, because they aren’t the narrator, they aren’t the glory-seeking protagonist. They are there, mostly as a function, something to cause complications or spur the main character on. I think that is why, in my own writing, I end up being more excited and intrigued my minor characters than my major ones. I end up loving them more and enjoying the fact that they aren’t revealing all, they are keeping parts of themselves hidden and unwritten and, if I ever do have any of my writing published, I hope readers really notice them, give them the time of day and try and fill in the gaps themselves.

My love/hate relationship with my current WIP

Does anyone else find that they have a love/hate relationship with their current WIP or is it just me? I didn’t have it with my first novel, but I think that may be because it was a series of short stories, so it was all love and no time for hate. It may be because I am branching out into unfamiliar genre territory as I am writing a thriller for the first time and, maybe, I am just lacking in confidence as it isn’t my go-to writing style. I keep finding that some days I am loving what I am writing and feel good about my chapters but others I get into an absolute slump, feel that my writing is dreadful, and the story is going nowhere. It may because I am being ambitious with this WIP. I am writing much more than I have ever written before, it is a longer narrative and doesn’t quite follow a linear structure in the same sense as my usual writing does…and I guess that’s hard. I loved writing my first few chapters and I have had a couple of climatic moments that have been really interesting to write (delving into a bit of gore and mystery which I haven’t always fully gotten into with my writing for a younger audience). It is just those lulls in between where I am working on character development or orchestrating situations to enable the next key moment to happen that I am finding hard. I wonder if that means I just don’t love my characters or world enough and if so, does that mean it is a project worth abandoning?

 Let me know if you ever feel the same way about your WIPs and if you have any advice for these writing slumps.

Five ways to combat writer's block

I know everyone deals with writer’s block differently, but I just wanted to share five ways I combat writer’s block and what helps me get back onto my writing journey. Some might be obvious, some may not work for you, but hopefully some of these strategies might be able to get you out of a writing lull.

 Walking

Most of my narratives are set in nature or have an element of nature-writing within them. Sometimes I find myself repeating similar phrases or descriptions as I spiral into writer’s block. I find going on a long walk helps with this. It clears my head, provides me with opportunity to really immerse myself in nature and notice things I perhaps hadn’t noticed before and therefore provides me with inspiration for my writing.

Reading

This is probably one of the more obvious strategies- be inspired by your most loved books. The books that made you want to write to begin with. What was it about the narrative, the characters, the imagery that captivated you in the first place? How might you recreate some of this magic in your own? I love to write chilling gothic stories for children and teenagers, and I am often inspired by Roald Dahl’s short stories but also good old Poe. If I am struggling with what to write, I usually take a break, read a couple of short stories, jot down what grabbed me and why, and use this to inspire my writing.

Board Games

I won’t go into too much detail about this as I have written about some of my favourite bookish games in my last blog post, but board games are a nice break when I am getting frustrated with my writing. They allow me to clear my head and focus on something else for a little while, but also some games (such as the ones I mentioned in my last blog post) actually encourage creativity, storytelling and imagination. I often find that after a game or two I am feeling refocused and ready to write again.

 Take a bath

I often get my best ideas in the bath (or sometimes the shower). Bath time is the perfect opportunity to mull over some of my trickier plot issues amongst all the bubbles… although sometimes I find that a lot of the solutions end up being water-based.

  Improving my writing space

Sometimes I find the biggest barrier to my writing is the space I am working in. If the space feels cluttered and unproductive, my mind feels cluttered and unproductive. Whenever I start a new draft, I spend a day clearing out my writing my space, tidying and organising. I also like to make it a pleasant environment to work in and often adorn the area with flowers, plants, candles and motivational messages to make myself feel motivated. I make sure I let as much light as I possibly can in and will often listen to ASMR rooms of seasonal outdoor spaces to allow for some background noise that isn’t too distracting.

So, there are five ways I try and combat the troublesome writer’s block, let me know what you do to keep yourself inspired and writing 😊 

Bookish Games

I thought I would write something a little different but still with a bookish focus. I like board games (not in an obsessive, that’s-all-I-do, expert- on-really-advanced-games kind of way), but I enjoy them. Especially on a rainy day. My favourite type of boardgame is one that has a literary theme or one where I need to use creativity. As we are all spending more time indoors, and we seem to have a little more time, I thought I would make a list of four bookish games I would recommend.

First of all, Sherlock Holmes Consulting Detective- I absolutely love this game. I am a huge fan of Arthur Conan Doyle’s work. I love the cosy, old-fashioned feel to the Sherlock Holmes series, and I enjoy nothing more than listening to a short story audiobook. I have listened to so many now that I consider myself a bit of a “detective.” I have learnt the general tropes and hints of where the mystery is heading and can often now work out the resolution before the end of the story. Although in some ways, this has taken away the magic of Sherlock, it does feel good to imagine myself as clever as him 😊. Naturally, to be able to then PLAY the mysteries in this boardgame is something I obviously would be drawn to. And there is nothing better than playing this board game on a rainy day, with a cup of tea and a Victorian ASMR room playing on the TV. I play it with my husband, but I think it would be possible to play it with only one player as well, or even larger groups. The game takes you through a Sherlock Holmes themed mystery where you need to use newspapers, maps and “visiting” various areas of London to uncover the solutions to the crimes. I like to think I have gotten pretty good at finding the “secret messages” in the personal section of the newspaper, I mean it is a common place where Sherlock finds some of his clues in the series itself. You can choose how long you want this board game to last- you can play it more competitively and try and solve the mysteries in as few clues as possible, or you can do what we do and try to unravel every last strand we possibly can. Downfalls to this game are that I think we have a relatively early version of the game so there are few typos and once you play a mystery you can’t play it again (as you already know the answers). There are 10 mysteries in the box. I personally prefer games I can play an unlimited amount of time, but I do believe there are expansion packs, so that might be something we will invest in in the future.

The next bookish game is “Paperback.” Although this is about wordplay and more like scrabble than anything, the design of the game is really great, with the cards having illustrations of front covers of an array of different genres of books. It is a quick, easy game- and also one of the only games I actually win at against my husband- that may be part of the reason I like it so much.

Next, we have “Gloom.” I haven’t played this game as much as I would like, although the design is right up my street. I love the gothic, Tim Burton-esque design of the characters and the different “families.” It certainly is quirky and I like the twist that you are trying to make your own family as miserable as possible, whilst making the family you are competing against have “the best life possible.” I am torn with Gloom. It is everything I should love, but I find the competitive, numerical “point adding and subtracting” side quite difficult and would love to focus more on the story-telling component, whereas my husband is more into “just getting the game done” and it being more of a battle/ competition than really developing the narrative behind it. I think with this game, it really depends on who you are playing with.

Finally, “DixIt.” It is a great game for all the family and has been really popular when we have had friends over for “games nights,” all the way back when you could have friends over. It is nice, easy and simple, but does also rely on your creativity. The cards are absolutely stunning and I think the game is a really effective practice in describing something in a succinct and imaginative way- you really need your show, don’t tell skills here!

Anyway, those are my four recommendations- I would really love to hear your thoughts on any of these games and would also love any further recommendations of any bookish games you have discovered and would recommend. 

How did I miss this?

I was an avid reader as a child (surprising?). One of my fondest memories is doing the Saturday shop with my mum, and as a treat for good behaviour, getting to go up to the library (it was on the second-floor balcony area of the town centre) and completely immerse myself in the children’s section.

My big loves were, of course, Harry Potter, Series of Unfortunate Events and Goosebumps. I also loved Enid Blyton, Animorphs and anything Jacqueline Wilson. As I got older, I started delving into more of the classics, alongside the next-big-things such as Hunger Games and the Divergent series. And, although I read a lot, I somehow completely and utterly missed the His Dark Materials series. I have a really foggy memory of being at a creative writing masterclass and being introduced to an extract that must have been from the series where we then had to create our own ‘daemons.’ I remember being interested, wondering where the extract came from, but still, it didn’t encourage me to investigate. It isn’t until, as a 23-year-old and moving into my first home with my now-husband, and he unloaded his His Dark Materials books onto the bookshelf that I actually truly realised that this series even existed. It is safe to say my husband was shocked at my lack of knowledge of this beloved series, yet still, it isn’t until lockdown that I have finally been drawn to picking up that first book. Rather than buying new books, I was trying to do the thing where I actually read the books we already have, and I had made a list of all the untouched books on the shelves that I had yet to peruse. I was aware that the book had recently been made into a BBC series, but hadn’t really taken to it, what with my lack of understanding of the world Phillip Pullman had created. I wasn’t invested yet.

The first time I read the book was in the bath about two weeks ago, and I remember just kicking myself and thinking, “How on earth did I miss this?” His Dark Materials would have been right up my street as a kid (and still is). Magical world- check, animals- double check, a strong female protagonist- check. How did I manage to let it slip by? So now, naturally, I have devoured the first book and the first season of the TV series (much prefer the book, as per), and I will be shortly starting the next. I have even gone as far as speculating what my loved one’s daemons might be. I have decided to call on my inner child for the rest of the series, and I am determined to immerse myself with magical worlds as much as I once did.

Reading Outside :)

As I write this it is in fact the first day of rain in well over a week, but previous to this day we had been blessed with some glorious sunshine. It might be the only bit of summer that the UK gets (I hope not), but I made sure I made the most of it (within social distancing measures) and went outside as often as I could. As a result, I am now sporting a lovely t-shirt tan.

This blog post is going to be more about reading than writing. I just wanted to express my appreciation of being able to read outside. My books have joined me in the garden, in a field, next to a lake, and there is something about being able to read whilst amongst nature and in the sunshine that really adds to the experience. Don’t get me wrong, I love a cosy winter read wrapped up in a blanket, hot chocolate, the works, but nothing beats reading about an epic journey and hearing the sounds of nature around you.

So, that is all really- I just wanted to share my love of reading and the outdoors 😊. Let me know about any interesting and fun locations you have been reading lately.

When an idea strikes!

I am sure every writer has experienced this before, but I was about six chapters into the story I have started writing when I was hit with a completely new idea that has no relevance whatsoever to my current WIP. This left me with a bit of a predicament. Do I put my new idea in a back drawer, forget about it for the time being and continue with what I am currently writing which, let’s be honest, doesn’t enthuse me quite as much as this brand new sparkling idea, or do I allow myself to be enticed by this new concept, abandon my WIP at Chapter 6 and come back to it at some later date down the line?

Tricky.

I rightly or wrongly chose the latter and picked up a shiny new notebook to start plotting my new idea somewhere different from the old idea (didn’t want it to get jealous).

I know I have said this before but I love a new notebook. Blank fresh pages and the prospect of a new adventure. I particularly like my choice of notebook number two because it doesn’t have lines. This has been especially useful with the plotting and planning stage as I am a bit of a mind-mapper/ grid-maker (might be the teacher in me).  So far, I have plotted the sequence of the story, planned out some of the main characters (currently unnamed- I find coming up with character and place names to be one of the most difficult aspects of writing- I might write a blog post on this in the future. I’ve put that in bold in order to remind myself to write that blog 😊) but what I have enjoyed the most about my shiny, new idea (although the notebook is a close contender) is the fact that I have had to do a bit of research for it. I don’t want to say too much, but it involves the books below.

Let’s hope I stay committed to this idea and don’t get several chapters in when a new idea strikes and lures me away! 

Learning to be positive and following your dreams...

If I had to pinpoint the moment in my life when I became a “negative person,” I would probably have to say my teenage years. I mean, who isn’t a bit negative as a teenager? Seems to be part of that whole hormonal transition, but I think the negativity stuck with me. Not in an obvious, surface level way but more through self-doubt. I would always assume the worse, would always consider myself not capable even when there was evidence contrary to that, and even when good things did happen or I achieved something miraculous, I would always be fearing that there would be something lurking around the corner to take all of it away, or at least, make the whole achievement something I am not worthy of or something I do not truly deserve. I know a lot of people feel this way, but I started to find that as I got older, and perhaps more comfortable in my life, I was letting self-doubt and this lack of belief in myself, restrict me from aiming for all of the things I truly wanted.

I think I have mentioned this in previous blog posts, but at literally any point in my life, if someone asked me what my biggest dream was, the answer was always to be a writer- and still is. Yet, never in my life did I set aside the time to write seriously. It was that self-doubt again. If I started to write, I already felt like a failure. Becoming a writer is like becoming a model, actor, singer etc- near impossible and only for those special few who have connections or whatever. What I needed was a mindset shift. I needed to perceive writing in a different way, not the glamorised J.K Rowling kind of way I had grown up with. If I wrote a book, even if nobody read it at all, I was still a writer. I have written and created something. I have achieved something. And I needed to believe I was capable of doing that.

I have never been one to read books about developing yourself. I am much more of a fiction fan. I would prefer to escape to other worlds than face the reality of my own. But, last Christmas, I decided to pick out a few of these books and see if there was actually anything useful in helping me believe in myself a bit more. The majority of things I read I knew wouldn’t work for me (or is that the negativity talking again?) but I took on a few tips and a few ideas and decided to give them a go. One thing that has helped me massively is vision boards. I have made vision boards in the past without really considering them as “vision boards,” and without really thinking about what they mean. I made one for my interview as Director of English and managed to secure the position at the age of 25 and having only been a teacher for less than 3 years. That is a massive achievement, yet at the time, I don’t think I even truly saw it that way as, yet again, self-doubt and those negative thoughts ate away at me.

After reading about vision boards, I decided to make one for everything I would love (no matter how insignificant or wild) to achieve in the next 3 months to 20 years. It was really interesting to find myself adding things that I didn’t even realise I wanted, but up there as one of my main goals was becoming a writer within the next five years. In fact, having all of my aspirations laid out there in front of me really made a difference to how I thought about them. It was almost as if, because I could see them, they seemed more within my grasp and potentially possible one day, and it actually gave me the motivation I needed to start thinking about those small steps needed to get there.

I made my vision board in January and I had written my book by March. It was as if I needed something like this, a change in mindset, to just give me a little push to actually knuckle down and just do it. I then did something that I never thought I would have the courage to do in a million years and shared my work with others, even going as far as querying some agents with what I had created. To send my book to agent meant I had to believe in myself. This was a big deal. Something I had also dreamt of but hadn’t envisioned myself doing either at all or (when I created my vision board) for at least 5 more years. It felt good to be brave, and the feeling I had yesterday when an agency actually requested my full manuscript was one I hadn’t felt in such a long time. I finally felt positive about myself. And although I still have those realistic and grounding thoughts, such as there may be nothing that even comes from them reading my full manuscript, I am remaining positive because at least my writing is good enough that a professional has taken interest in it- and that makes me feel good and believe in myself just that little bit more. 😊

Lockdown reading and reading as inspiration for writing:

Surprisingly, I haven’t read as much as I usually do in lockdown. If I knew how long I would be at home at the beginning of lockdown, I would probably be shocked at how little I have read so far. I think this may be because I have been substituting some of the time I could be reading with a lot of writing and have been doing a few other different activities I wouldn’t normally do as well. The main times I read in “normal life” are on long journeys or audiobooks as I am getting ready for work in the morning- and as I am doing neither as much lately, I think that may be part of the issue also. I have had more time to think about what I am reading though. Usually (particularly when on holiday) I would just jump from book to book, swiftly picking up the next as soon as I had closed the previous, and I didn’t fully digest what I read. Now, I have more time, I am reading much more slowly and having a break before I pick up the next. Another way in which my reading is different is that (now that I am writing a lot more) I feel like I am looking at novels in a different way. I am thinking more about the writer’s process, wondering how they might have planned their narrative arc, why they have characterised characters in particular ways, etc. I am even starting to think about how I would have written the concept for the book (definitely not saying I would have written it any better, but it is interesting and fun to think about different ways the story could have gone!). I have always known, but now understand more than ever, how much reading can support your writing. Different books can support so many different writing ideas, so I thought I would write a little bit of my reading experience (as of late) and how these books have influenced my writing and the way I look at things.

This is one of the first books I read in lockdown and although it is anthology of all things Spring and not a fiction book as such, it really made me feel happy thinking about that transition from Winter into Spring and how much nature can influence mood and atmosphere. I love the change in seasons and would love to include more exploration of season change and nature in my writing. I feel that anthologies like this are a great place to start for inspiration.

I used to be obsessed with Greek Mythology as a child. I would read The Gorgan’s Head (pictured-not a lockdown read) over and over again… you can probably tell from the discolouration and bent cover… It used to scare me a little bit, yet for some reason it would be the “go to” read when I wasn’t supposed to be reading at night time and I had to sneak out into the hall where the light was left on in order to read it. Despite my childhood obsession, I hadn’t touched anything with any reference to Greek Mythology since studying Homer at University, so it was lovely to take the time to read this Greek re-telling (pictured left). I really enjoyed it and I really liked the romantic element. I have never been any good at writing romance or non-platonic intimate connections between characters, so I felt I learnt a lot about crafting those believable relationships from reading this. 

I really liked the tone and atmosphere of “The Secret History” (my next read). It is totally in line with the atmosphere I like to build in my writing, bordering more on the unsettling and eerie, and I really enjoyed how obsession and the nuances of character motivation was explored using the unreliable narrator. I love narrators who I can judge, speculate about and not entirely trust, and I am keen to build some of these narrators into more of my narratives.

Next was “Americanah.” I had been meaning to read this for such a long time. It had been on TBR for at least half a year and I am really glad I got around to reading it in lockdown. This was a fantastic novel on many levels. It was extremely layered, and again, I feel like it taught me a lot about characterisation and how much impact nuances in social interaction can have within a narrative.

And finally, I am reading “The Last.” This is actually a book my husband had purchased for himself. I am at the stage now of scouring the bookshelves for books I haven’t read yet or have accidently neglected to pick up, and I was initially hesitant wtih reading a book about the end of the world in the current climate. I haven’t finished it yet, but am enjoying the mystery it is currently conveying and I am thinking about how I might best evoke curiosity and mystery within my own writing- particularly as I am intending on writing a YA thriller.

I would love to know what you have been reading in lockdown. Leave me a comment and let me know all about your current reading journeys 😊 

My First Rejection

I received my first agent rejection on Monday. It was from the first agent I sent to. The “dream big” agent. My number one pick. Surprisingly, my first reaction wasn’t one of disappointment or sadness. I actually felt okay and, unexpectedly, motivated. I had been sending queries for about 2-3 weeks, and was actually worried I was going to fall into a void of being not heard at all, of nobody even picking up my chapters, or just complete and utter radio silence, so to know that they have even looked at what I have written (even if the answer is a no) made me feel somewhat relieved. And even though I have been rejected by my dream agent doesn’t necessarily mean it will be the same with the others. I feel that the fact that I have taken this plunge and been brave enough to put my work out there is a huge milestone for me, and I am still proud of that. I won’t let rejections get me down, and I am going to keep on pursuing my dreams. 

What Next?

I have researched the agents I want to send my novel to and have started sending queries. With the time for agents to respond (if they do) being sometimes 12 weeks or more, I know that now it will just be a waiting game. So, what to do in this time? I know the best way to fill my writing void is to start writing something else, but it is hard to let go of my first little creation and start focusing on something different. It feels like I am subconsciously giving up on it or laying it to bed way too early. However, now that I have time (time that I will probably never have again) and now that I am in a bit of a writing routine, I know the best thing is to keep writing.

I want to go BIG this time. My first novel was easing me back into writing- a succinct 26,000 with impact. I want to try out some new things. Have a go at world-building or something like that, although I am not sure where to start. Does anyone use anything for their world-building to help them create it? Are there any useful writing tools available to help with constructing something a lot bigger? These are all just ideas at the moment, little thoughts, because I am still in the process of moving on from my last, but I do want to use this time well and keep on writing 😊.

I'm querying!

I have never had greater deliberation on pressing that “send” button than I had yesterday at 11:07 am. I am not sure why- I had been intending to send the email for weeks; had prepared my cover letter, synopsis and chapters; gone through it all with a fine-tooth comb, and had others double check everything for me, but still, that pause before pressing send was excruciating! I have done it- I have sent my first ever query to an agent- my dream agent- and I know the wait will be long and I know the chances of being noticed by the agent is slim, but I am proud that I am finally summoning the courage within me to do things I have always dreamed of but never dared.

I know not to put all my eggs in one basket. I will send to more agents. I know the general recommendation is to send to half a dozen to a dozen, but I just thought for now, for this momentous occasion, I would send to just one (the one I would love to work with the most) and then will start working more strategically through my list. I think I just needed to get over that hurdle of sending my first ever query, and hopefully I will be pressing that “send” button much more confidently for the rest.

Fingers crossed!

Getting Feedback On My Book

So, for the first time in my life I have let other people read what I have written. I have finally worked up enough courage to send my book to people and ask them to comment and provide feedback on what I have written. Why is sharing writing such a scary thing to do? Most of us are writing to be read, but then those initial first steps of actually sharing our creations is one that I never feel confident about. Yet, I want people to give me feedback, I want them to tell me what they liked and didn’t like, I want to know how my book might possibly be received, any plot holes I may have missed, I want to know how to make it better. It isn’t that I am scared of being criticised. That is something that has never really bothered me in any aspect of my life. I am reflective, I actually like learning how I could improve on things. I think it may more be an issue of self-doubt. I have written something that I think works, but what if I am completely delusional and another person reads it and doesn’t get it at all- or thinks it foolish or worse, uses it to make a judgment upon me. All irrational insecurities, I know. But now I have actually taken the leap and shared my writing, I am not sure what all that fear and insecurity was really about. Ok, I admit, I have mostly only sent it to family and friends- baby steps-and I know their feedback is going to be much more gentle than someone who doesn’t know me. But I have started to branch out a little and started sending it to the actual audience my book is intended for. It is a YA, and I had initially only sent it to adults. My original plan was that I was going to share it in the school I work at once I felt ready to, amongst my English classes and in the library (anonymously) so I could get some feedback from the YA readers who would be reading the YA book, however with the school closing, I was unable to follow through with the plan. I also haven’t felt that the sharing of what I have written would be appropriate (or anonymous) through our home-learning systems. Despite this, I have managed to find a couple of willing volunteers in the targeted age group who are not close family or friends and I am currently awaiting feedback from them.

It would be interesting to know what processes other writers go through in obtaining feedback for their books, so if anyone reading this has a particular way they work through their feedback process, I would love to know.

I've Finished Writing My Book!

I have done it! I have written a book- something I always dreamed about doing and, to be honest, if I never even do anything with my book following this, it still feels good to be able to say that I have always wanted to write a book and that I have done it. It is mine, the characters are my creation, the plots (hopefully somewhat original) are my ideas, and even if only a handful of people ever read it, I don’t really care, because I am just proud that I imagined something and spent the time and care to put it all on the page. It is amazing how quickly one can finish a novel under lockdown- albeit a relatively short YA one that I have been writing.

Now, the editing and proofreading stage is going to be a tricky one. I have tried, and have fixed a few bits, but it was difficult to be critical with myself having so recently written it all down. I figured I might need a bit of a break from it and then go back to see what I can improve and develop. It is hard to do that because I am fizzing with so much excitement and energy at just finishing my book-I feel like I want to do more with it, and I am missing the actual processing of writing itself. I don’t want to move onto anything new just yet (although I do have a few ideas) because it would feel like I am just abandoning my first creation and moving on, when it has so newly been completed, but I am just not sure what I want my next steps to be.

Even though it is massively unedited, I have decided to brave the stage of having others read it. First, testing the waters with family members, and then sending it out to a few close friends. I am wondering how much further I will feel confident branching out. My best friend was the first one to read it in full and she sent me the gift, pictured below. I have put it in my writing space. The support my family and friends are giving me is so lovely, especially when we aren’t even able to see each other.  I do realise family and friends are going to try and be nice about the book, and are more likely to praise then criticise, but I want them to feel they are able to give me some constructive criticism. I want to know what chapters they enjoyed, but also, I genuinely want to know what just doesn’t work. The way my book is structured is really flexible and I can delete and move around elements of the plots without much issue, so actually, any doubts they have when reading will be so helpful to me in this dreaded editing stage.

 If anyone has any suggestions on what they do when they have finished a book, I would love to know 😊

A Writer's Life For Me

I am one week and one day into writing full time and playing pretend at somewhat living the writer’s lifestyle I have always wanted. Obviously, we are going through a pandemic and I am still technically working my usual, full time job, but being at home means I can pretend I am a real writer, and I am loving that aspect of it.

As I revealed in my previous blogs, I have created my “at-home” writing space. I have kept it nice and tidy- a real productive working space- and have used it almost every day. I have bought myself a mug which suggests I’m an author, even though only my husband has read my work, but if the mug says I’m an author at least I can pretend to be as I drink my tea. I’ve even purchased a t-shirt to wear when I write that says “Eat. Sleep. Write a Book,” which is pretty much all I am doing at the moment, so really reads true.

As of today, of this moment, I have written 24,206 words in just over a week. I am proud. I am motivated. Even if my work ends up being rubbish, I’ve still accomplished something and I am really, really close to finishing it. It could happen tomorrow. Maybe even the next day. But I am really looking forward to finally being able to say “Look- I’ve done it! I’ve always wanted to write a novel and here it is!”

Of course, the editing part is going to be arduous, but that just part of the process- a writer’s life is certainly for me!

Losing at Social Media

Despite being a “millennial” I have never really been an avid social media user. I never really “got” it. MSN was more of a useful tool to arrange outings with friends, much easier than walking all the way to their house only to hear they are “already out” at the door, or to make that terrifying phone call to their home number (before the time of mobile phones) and risk their parents answering and having that awkward moment of whether you should address them by surname, first name or just “__’s mum/dad.” I had a MySpace page I hardly touched and shook my head at the idea that someone from another school was well known in ours because they were “MySpace famous”- always with the best pictures or the latest soundtrack introducing their page. Then it was the transformation into Facebook. Whilst everyone else started documenting their lives, tagging friends and places, although I used Facebook to keep in touch with those closest to me, most of my updates (when I did update my status) were pictures of my pets. I didn’t even have it on my phone.

That was another issue that left me behind in this rapid growth of life online. The first time I had a phone where I could access the internet was only about 3 years ago. And that phone was second hand and given to me by a friend who was sick of what he called “my flip phone that looked as though it had come out of a Destiny Child’s music video.” I never really wanted a phone I could do everything on. Maybe it was partly snobbery, partly because I am someone who prefers the more old-fashioned ways, but I was worried that if I got a phone which gave me endless access to social media, apps and games, then I would never be off it. I would be like all those people you see, heads eternally craned over their devices, not communicating with the people around them. I like to live in the moment. If I have made plans to see someone, I am there to see them. My phone will remain locked in my pocket or face down on the table and I won’t even feel the slightest urge to check it. It will remain switched off and in my bag throughout the entire workday. I think the fact that mobile phones these days can do anything and are limitless scares me a little, so I feel like I have to be extra strict and restrictive with how much I actually use it.

I will admit, once I had a phone with internet access and with the download of Instagram, I posted a lot of pictures to begin with. Instagram is great at pulling you in, especially when you are new to it. All of those filters giving your life a little extra sparkle. And that unlimited access to all your favourite celebrity’s lives- you can literally see what they are doing every hour of the day if you really wanted to. But after a while, even the intrigue of Instagram wore off.

So, as you can see, over the years, I have always coasted by on social media, and that has never really been a problem… until now. I did quite a bit research before I started getting more serious about writing in February. A lot of the research was just dreaming big. What if I did finish writing a novel? What if I did want to submit it to an agent, what would I do? What should I be thinking about before I even begin? I quickly noticed that one thing that has changed over the years is the online presence of authors. I kept seeing/hearing/reading the message again and again that a writer needs a social platform and that they should start one as soon as possible.  As I am clearly inept at the whole social media thing and certainly do not have the skills to create a following, this message filled me with dread. But seeing as I was trying new things, trying to ignore all doubts and just give it a go, I thought I would at least try and do what I can. And who knows? Maybe I could learn.

This blog was my first step into being brave, and actually sharing myself on a platform that anyone could really see- and I have actually enjoyed this bit. However, I think I have enjoyed it because I know not many people are reading this (mostly a few close loved ones who already know what I think and feel, so I really don’t mind them seeing this). Therefore, it feels like a safe space- low threat, still a bit private. I knew I had to be braver, and the suggestions online were that Twitter was the best place to go because it has a thriving and supportive writing community. I figured I could post links to my blog posts on there, and hopefully a fellow writer or two might see it and I could build some support or momentum from there.

I have never really tried with Twitter before. I had an account as a teenager and used it to follow a few bands, but I don’t remember using it for long or really posting anything. I wanted this account to be purely about writing and I wanted to be able to communicate with fellow writers. I had visions of being able to seek and share advice, of discussing inspiration and just talking about all things bookish with others who share my interest. Obviously in real life, I can talk about writing with those I feel confident enough sharing my writing with, but unless they are writing something too, the conversation can only really be surface level. I could see why the online world offers more and why people are drawn to it in hope of finding those going through similar experiences. Having been on Twitter and trying to integrate myself in the writing community for almost two months now, I can say that I am definitely losing at social media. I just don’t get it. I am trying to post things that are interesting. I am trying to use the right hashtags. I am following others and following back. I am commenting on tweets. Yet whenever I post anything, the response it often almost nothing- and most of the time I am actually asking for genuine opinion and advice. I am sure the writing community on Twitter is as warm and supportive as everyone says. I have seen it be the case with others- new people introducing themselves to the community and receiving a hundred good-natured responses. But I just can’t seem to get that. I currently feel like the little tag-along in the playground, watching the game and hoping to get picked. I think I am doing something wrong, I just can’t seem to work social media. Perhaps it is punishing me for my rejection of it over the years. So, if anyone has any tips or advice on how to integrate yourself more successfully in Twitter communities online- please let me know. In some dire need of help here!