Sunday, 21 May 2023

Advice I would give my pregnant self

1.      The first trimester is rough. I had really bad morning *all day* sickness which really impacted what food I could eat (hardly anything). It literally felt like torture because I was so hungry but just couldn’t eat-  also, don’t count on the morning sickness ending abruptly at 12 weeks- I remember waiting for the 12 week mark, excited to see the back of the sickness. And when it didn’t happen, I was so gutted and was worried I was going to feel sick forever. Fortunately, it did eventually subside at 16 weeks!

2.      There is a reason why people say ginger biscuits help with morning sickness. Listen to this, even though you don’t like gingerbread and are convinced they are just going to make you feel worse. I couldn’t get out of bed in the morning if I didn’t eat from my stash of ginger biscuits in a tin next to my bed.

3.      It might not be the best idea to get a puppy when you are pregnant- granted, I did this completely by accident and I love Toby to bits, but morning sickness plus puppy poo is not the best combination.

4.      Use stretch mark oils/ cream early- I started using it pretty much as soon as I found out I was pregnant and I didn’t get a single stretch mark. I think it is mostly meant to be down to genetics, but I definitely feel like the oil made a big difference.

5.      Your best buy will be your pregnancy pillow. It was a god send throughout my pregnancy. I don’t know what I would have done without it. It is also gives you a perfectly good excuse to take up most of the bed. 

6.      There are some really cute (and useful) apps out there. Pregnancy+ shows you what your little one looks like at each stage and compares them to fruit, animals and sweets. There does come a point in the third trimester where the novelty wears off as the only change each week is that baby has gotten bigger, but in those early weeks when it feels like nothing is happening, there is actually so much going on inside and it is so fascinating- and when you can’t physically ‘see’ the pregnancy, it makes it feel all the more real.

7.      Picking a name is a lot harder than you think. And make sure you try it out with middle names and second names. It can surprise you what names really don’t work together, even if you think you love them. Picking a name is obviously a lot of fun too. We really loved ‘Baby Name Together’ which is like a baby name version of Tinder where you swipe and match the names you both like. We narrowed it down to a list of 5 names for a boy and a girl and ultimately chose Teddy’s name from this.

8.      If you can afford it, consider an early private scan. Seeing as you are paying, they feel much less rushed than the NHS ones and they really take their time with it. It is amazing (and reassuring) to see that tiny heartbeat, even though the baby somewhat resembles a small mushroom at this point. Alternatively, consider paying for a positioning scan in the third trimester so you have absolute confirmation of your baby’s position. If I hadn’t been sent for a growth scan, Teddy would have been an undiagnosed breech and I don’t know if I would have had the same knowledge and confidence to go through with a VBB and may have panicked and opted for a c-section in the moment.

9.      Don’t worry about the size of your bump! I had a small bump throughout pregnancy and almost felt like I was pretending to be pregnant throughout most of it as I didn’t look pregnant for such a long time. I was envious of the big, beautiful bumps I would see. However, in hindsight, I didn’t have nearly as much back pain and I didn’t find my third trimester as uncomfortable as I know others did. I was blessed with a cute, little bump, just right for me and I wish I had spent more time appreciating that and less time comparing my bump to others!

10.   Get your flu shot- for the first time ever, I did not catch a cold over the Christmas holidays. A major accomplishment for working in a school.

11.   Make the most out of the second trimester- it is true- it is the best one! We went on holiday during the first trimester as it fell during the summer holidays, however, I do think the second trimester would have been the perfect time as it was definitely when I felt my best. The baby had started kicking, I was rocking a little bump, I had this renewed energy after weeks of throwing up. It is the perfect time to start ticking things off your to do list.

12.   Although I do think the second trimester is the prime time for a babymoon, don’t be afraid to go in your first trimester. I was so anxious about going away as was worried about my morning sickness, especially with travelling, and that I wouldn’t enjoy the holiday- although, yes, I did feel sick most days, it was much better feeling poorly in a beautiful setting with time to chill and relax than feeling rubbish back at home.

13.   Spend more time in the moment- especially when baby is kicking. One of my best memories of being pregnant is at my mum and dad’s van. We had just taken our dog, Toby, for his first time at the beach and he was lying snoring at my feet. I was resting after the long walk and Teddy decided to have a right dance party in my belly. It was the first time I had seen the kicks visibly moving my belly and it was lovely knowing that he was there with us too.

14.   Get your dog ready for the baby. As well as taking Toby training, we also played baby crying sounds. I carried a cuddly toy in the sling and put it in the car seat with the crying sound playing. Toby is totally unfazed by the baby crying now. We also practised walking Toby with the pram so he could get used to that too.

15.   Siobhan Miller’s Practical Ways to Make your Birth Better was the best thing I read throughout my entire pregnancy. It helped me reframe my fears around pregnancy and supported me in feeling really positive about what was to come. It enabled me to visualise the birth I wanted to have and even though Teddy’s birth didn’t quite match that, it gave me a really good sense of what I knew I did and didn’t want.

16.   Antenatal classes can be empowering. I wasn’t aware of how much choice I actually had when it came to birth, and how it important it is to be informed, until I attended the antenatal classes. And I do feel that they contributed to both James and I being able to have the vaginal breech birth that I wanted.

17.   Try and exercise as much as you can as it can make you feel stronger and have more stamina for birth. Join a class, if you can. I started aquanatal classes after Christmas and absolutely loved them. It also enabled me to get to know other people who were pregnant and due around the same time as me, and I felt I had a lot of support from the group when I found out Teddy was breech- helping me do handstands in the pool in hopes of turning Teddy, etc.

18.   Massage your perineum! Enough said- trust me, this is an important one!

19.   Invest in a birthing ball- great way to exercise at home, super comfy, massively helped me keep active and upright during labour and (although unsuccessful) was also useful to have when I was trying to turn Teddy.

20.   Do a pregnancy shoot- I didn’t get enough pictures of my bump, so it was the perfect opportunity to get some nice ones.

21.   As you approach your due date, make and freeze some meals- you will be grateful that you did this the first few weeks after baby is born. I was making and freezing a lasagne whilst having contractions the day before Teddy was born! Oddly, I remember that I kept thinking my fingernails smelt of garlic as I was giving birth to Teddy and was worried that would be the first thing he would smell…

22.   Allow yourself to slow down- especially in the third trimester. You will never get this time again.

23.   No they aren’t Braxton Hicks- they are the real thing…

24.   Don’t be embarrassed to record your labour. I didn’t intend to take any pictures or videos of the birth but I am so glad I decided to at the end. There is a wonderful video of James and I meeting Teddy for the first time that I know I will treasure forever.

25.   Go with your gut- you are so much stronger than you think!!!

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