What Next?

I have researched the agents I want to send my novel to and have started sending queries. With the time for agents to respond (if they do) being sometimes 12 weeks or more, I know that now it will just be a waiting game. So, what to do in this time? I know the best way to fill my writing void is to start writing something else, but it is hard to let go of my first little creation and start focusing on something different. It feels like I am subconsciously giving up on it or laying it to bed way too early. However, now that I have time (time that I will probably never have again) and now that I am in a bit of a writing routine, I know the best thing is to keep writing.

I want to go BIG this time. My first novel was easing me back into writing- a succinct 26,000 with impact. I want to try out some new things. Have a go at world-building or something like that, although I am not sure where to start. Does anyone use anything for their world-building to help them create it? Are there any useful writing tools available to help with constructing something a lot bigger? These are all just ideas at the moment, little thoughts, because I am still in the process of moving on from my last, but I do want to use this time well and keep on writing 😊.

I'm querying!

I have never had greater deliberation on pressing that “send” button than I had yesterday at 11:07 am. I am not sure why- I had been intending to send the email for weeks; had prepared my cover letter, synopsis and chapters; gone through it all with a fine-tooth comb, and had others double check everything for me, but still, that pause before pressing send was excruciating! I have done it- I have sent my first ever query to an agent- my dream agent- and I know the wait will be long and I know the chances of being noticed by the agent is slim, but I am proud that I am finally summoning the courage within me to do things I have always dreamed of but never dared.

I know not to put all my eggs in one basket. I will send to more agents. I know the general recommendation is to send to half a dozen to a dozen, but I just thought for now, for this momentous occasion, I would send to just one (the one I would love to work with the most) and then will start working more strategically through my list. I think I just needed to get over that hurdle of sending my first ever query, and hopefully I will be pressing that “send” button much more confidently for the rest.

Fingers crossed!

Getting Feedback On My Book

So, for the first time in my life I have let other people read what I have written. I have finally worked up enough courage to send my book to people and ask them to comment and provide feedback on what I have written. Why is sharing writing such a scary thing to do? Most of us are writing to be read, but then those initial first steps of actually sharing our creations is one that I never feel confident about. Yet, I want people to give me feedback, I want them to tell me what they liked and didn’t like, I want to know how my book might possibly be received, any plot holes I may have missed, I want to know how to make it better. It isn’t that I am scared of being criticised. That is something that has never really bothered me in any aspect of my life. I am reflective, I actually like learning how I could improve on things. I think it may more be an issue of self-doubt. I have written something that I think works, but what if I am completely delusional and another person reads it and doesn’t get it at all- or thinks it foolish or worse, uses it to make a judgment upon me. All irrational insecurities, I know. But now I have actually taken the leap and shared my writing, I am not sure what all that fear and insecurity was really about. Ok, I admit, I have mostly only sent it to family and friends- baby steps-and I know their feedback is going to be much more gentle than someone who doesn’t know me. But I have started to branch out a little and started sending it to the actual audience my book is intended for. It is a YA, and I had initially only sent it to adults. My original plan was that I was going to share it in the school I work at once I felt ready to, amongst my English classes and in the library (anonymously) so I could get some feedback from the YA readers who would be reading the YA book, however with the school closing, I was unable to follow through with the plan. I also haven’t felt that the sharing of what I have written would be appropriate (or anonymous) through our home-learning systems. Despite this, I have managed to find a couple of willing volunteers in the targeted age group who are not close family or friends and I am currently awaiting feedback from them.

It would be interesting to know what processes other writers go through in obtaining feedback for their books, so if anyone reading this has a particular way they work through their feedback process, I would love to know.

I've Finished Writing My Book!

I have done it! I have written a book- something I always dreamed about doing and, to be honest, if I never even do anything with my book following this, it still feels good to be able to say that I have always wanted to write a book and that I have done it. It is mine, the characters are my creation, the plots (hopefully somewhat original) are my ideas, and even if only a handful of people ever read it, I don’t really care, because I am just proud that I imagined something and spent the time and care to put it all on the page. It is amazing how quickly one can finish a novel under lockdown- albeit a relatively short YA one that I have been writing.

Now, the editing and proofreading stage is going to be a tricky one. I have tried, and have fixed a few bits, but it was difficult to be critical with myself having so recently written it all down. I figured I might need a bit of a break from it and then go back to see what I can improve and develop. It is hard to do that because I am fizzing with so much excitement and energy at just finishing my book-I feel like I want to do more with it, and I am missing the actual processing of writing itself. I don’t want to move onto anything new just yet (although I do have a few ideas) because it would feel like I am just abandoning my first creation and moving on, when it has so newly been completed, but I am just not sure what I want my next steps to be.

Even though it is massively unedited, I have decided to brave the stage of having others read it. First, testing the waters with family members, and then sending it out to a few close friends. I am wondering how much further I will feel confident branching out. My best friend was the first one to read it in full and she sent me the gift, pictured below. I have put it in my writing space. The support my family and friends are giving me is so lovely, especially when we aren’t even able to see each other.  I do realise family and friends are going to try and be nice about the book, and are more likely to praise then criticise, but I want them to feel they are able to give me some constructive criticism. I want to know what chapters they enjoyed, but also, I genuinely want to know what just doesn’t work. The way my book is structured is really flexible and I can delete and move around elements of the plots without much issue, so actually, any doubts they have when reading will be so helpful to me in this dreaded editing stage.

 If anyone has any suggestions on what they do when they have finished a book, I would love to know 😊

A Writer's Life For Me

I am one week and one day into writing full time and playing pretend at somewhat living the writer’s lifestyle I have always wanted. Obviously, we are going through a pandemic and I am still technically working my usual, full time job, but being at home means I can pretend I am a real writer, and I am loving that aspect of it.

As I revealed in my previous blogs, I have created my “at-home” writing space. I have kept it nice and tidy- a real productive working space- and have used it almost every day. I have bought myself a mug which suggests I’m an author, even though only my husband has read my work, but if the mug says I’m an author at least I can pretend to be as I drink my tea. I’ve even purchased a t-shirt to wear when I write that says “Eat. Sleep. Write a Book,” which is pretty much all I am doing at the moment, so really reads true.

As of today, of this moment, I have written 24,206 words in just over a week. I am proud. I am motivated. Even if my work ends up being rubbish, I’ve still accomplished something and I am really, really close to finishing it. It could happen tomorrow. Maybe even the next day. But I am really looking forward to finally being able to say “Look- I’ve done it! I’ve always wanted to write a novel and here it is!”

Of course, the editing part is going to be arduous, but that just part of the process- a writer’s life is certainly for me!

Losing at Social Media

Despite being a “millennial” I have never really been an avid social media user. I never really “got” it. MSN was more of a useful tool to arrange outings with friends, much easier than walking all the way to their house only to hear they are “already out” at the door, or to make that terrifying phone call to their home number (before the time of mobile phones) and risk their parents answering and having that awkward moment of whether you should address them by surname, first name or just “__’s mum/dad.” I had a MySpace page I hardly touched and shook my head at the idea that someone from another school was well known in ours because they were “MySpace famous”- always with the best pictures or the latest soundtrack introducing their page. Then it was the transformation into Facebook. Whilst everyone else started documenting their lives, tagging friends and places, although I used Facebook to keep in touch with those closest to me, most of my updates (when I did update my status) were pictures of my pets. I didn’t even have it on my phone.

That was another issue that left me behind in this rapid growth of life online. The first time I had a phone where I could access the internet was only about 3 years ago. And that phone was second hand and given to me by a friend who was sick of what he called “my flip phone that looked as though it had come out of a Destiny Child’s music video.” I never really wanted a phone I could do everything on. Maybe it was partly snobbery, partly because I am someone who prefers the more old-fashioned ways, but I was worried that if I got a phone which gave me endless access to social media, apps and games, then I would never be off it. I would be like all those people you see, heads eternally craned over their devices, not communicating with the people around them. I like to live in the moment. If I have made plans to see someone, I am there to see them. My phone will remain locked in my pocket or face down on the table and I won’t even feel the slightest urge to check it. It will remain switched off and in my bag throughout the entire workday. I think the fact that mobile phones these days can do anything and are limitless scares me a little, so I feel like I have to be extra strict and restrictive with how much I actually use it.

I will admit, once I had a phone with internet access and with the download of Instagram, I posted a lot of pictures to begin with. Instagram is great at pulling you in, especially when you are new to it. All of those filters giving your life a little extra sparkle. And that unlimited access to all your favourite celebrity’s lives- you can literally see what they are doing every hour of the day if you really wanted to. But after a while, even the intrigue of Instagram wore off.

So, as you can see, over the years, I have always coasted by on social media, and that has never really been a problem… until now. I did quite a bit research before I started getting more serious about writing in February. A lot of the research was just dreaming big. What if I did finish writing a novel? What if I did want to submit it to an agent, what would I do? What should I be thinking about before I even begin? I quickly noticed that one thing that has changed over the years is the online presence of authors. I kept seeing/hearing/reading the message again and again that a writer needs a social platform and that they should start one as soon as possible.  As I am clearly inept at the whole social media thing and certainly do not have the skills to create a following, this message filled me with dread. But seeing as I was trying new things, trying to ignore all doubts and just give it a go, I thought I would at least try and do what I can. And who knows? Maybe I could learn.

This blog was my first step into being brave, and actually sharing myself on a platform that anyone could really see- and I have actually enjoyed this bit. However, I think I have enjoyed it because I know not many people are reading this (mostly a few close loved ones who already know what I think and feel, so I really don’t mind them seeing this). Therefore, it feels like a safe space- low threat, still a bit private. I knew I had to be braver, and the suggestions online were that Twitter was the best place to go because it has a thriving and supportive writing community. I figured I could post links to my blog posts on there, and hopefully a fellow writer or two might see it and I could build some support or momentum from there.

I have never really tried with Twitter before. I had an account as a teenager and used it to follow a few bands, but I don’t remember using it for long or really posting anything. I wanted this account to be purely about writing and I wanted to be able to communicate with fellow writers. I had visions of being able to seek and share advice, of discussing inspiration and just talking about all things bookish with others who share my interest. Obviously in real life, I can talk about writing with those I feel confident enough sharing my writing with, but unless they are writing something too, the conversation can only really be surface level. I could see why the online world offers more and why people are drawn to it in hope of finding those going through similar experiences. Having been on Twitter and trying to integrate myself in the writing community for almost two months now, I can say that I am definitely losing at social media. I just don’t get it. I am trying to post things that are interesting. I am trying to use the right hashtags. I am following others and following back. I am commenting on tweets. Yet whenever I post anything, the response it often almost nothing- and most of the time I am actually asking for genuine opinion and advice. I am sure the writing community on Twitter is as warm and supportive as everyone says. I have seen it be the case with others- new people introducing themselves to the community and receiving a hundred good-natured responses. But I just can’t seem to get that. I currently feel like the little tag-along in the playground, watching the game and hoping to get picked. I think I am doing something wrong, I just can’t seem to work social media. Perhaps it is punishing me for my rejection of it over the years. So, if anyone has any tips or advice on how to integrate yourself more successfully in Twitter communities online- please let me know. In some dire need of help here!

Creating my writing space

I started writing my first draft in February and actually finished it a few weeks ago. A range of circumstances meant that I had more time to write, however I also felt no barrier to my previous excuse of “not feeling inspired,” or “not having the right space to feel comfortable writing.” I made myself write, whether I felt like it or not, even when I felt as though my ideas were not very good at all. If I felt like my first few pages were really jumbled and nonsensical, I would still persevere, keep on writing, thinking that I will just worry about the editing part later. I tried not to worry about the space I was writing in. I would write in my notebook no matter where I was (often in the sitting room) and once I got started, it didn’t seem to matter too much if the space didn’t have the right “atmosphere” or “vibe” or whatever to inspire me.

For some reason, this all changed when it came to typing up my draft. I have been putting it off for weeks, falling back on those same excuses from before. In my mind, I needed to be typing up my ideas in exactly the right space- preferably a coffee shop or a picnic table in a country park opposite a lake, or some other sort of cliched and pretentious place. And I was all set to do that, told myself that I would as soon as everything slowed down again, as soon as work wasn’t so crazy.

All of those ideals have vanished with the recent closures and the message we were given last night to stay at home, and ultimately ‘where to write’ has been taken entirely out of my hands. Although everything is really uncertain and scary across the world at the moment, if I try and think on the positive side, things have really slowed down and now is the time (as I am sure many of us have realised) to “write that book I have always wanted to write.” No excuses. So, I may as well make the most out of a strange and horrible situation, ignore the nagging doubts and type up this first draft. And the writing space issue- well, I will just have to fix that myself with what I can.

I spent last night tidying up our study. It has recently been a dumping ground for everything from the spare bedroom. We have been decorating the spare room and the study is really cluttered and claustrophobic, with a jumbled assortment of stuff. I sorted through everything, set up my desk with some plants and a candle, and tried to make it as comfortable and “inspiring” as I possibly could. This is going to be my little space for a while. Let’s see what I am able to create here…